Peru
A Shoe Story
Wow! I’m almost tempted to leave my de-lurk post up for weeks, just because it’s been so much fun to hear from you. It’s so encouraging to know that people are reading, and hearing that directly from my readers is better than reading my stats. Thanks for taking the time to comment; I know many of you are very busy. But know that I greatly appreciated it.
I had a great birthday; it was definitely my most elaborate one yet. My roommates and dear friends C. and S. were going to take me horseback riding, but the weather was kind of iffy so instead I got my hair straightened and we got free makeovers. Then we went out to dinner, and then they took me on a carriage ride downtown at sunset! It was so much fun! Afterwards we came back to the apartments and there was a surprise party for me with our group of friends. They were all so nice! I can’t believe how much trouble they went to. I had a wonderful day.
Now, on to the topic of the day. I was thinking about this yesterday and realized it would be good to write about. Okay, so my shoe situation is a little lacking. I have two pairs of nice black shoes, two pairs of casual brown shoes, and a lot of flip-flops. That’s basically it. It’s mostly for two reasons - 1) I don’t put forth the time, effort, or money into finding good shoes, and 2) I have feet that are size 11 wide!
I know, I can’t believe I’m revealing this. 
But I am 5′9, so it makes sense, right? The point is that it’s really hard to find shoes that are 11 and wide. And if I can find them, they’re often way too expensive. So my shoe collection is very minimal and will always be basic and generic. I probably have about 10 pairs of shoes right now, not including some old retired ones. That doesn’t seem like a lot compared to some people I know, especially other women.
Part of what we did in Peru this summer as interns was giving away shoes with a couple of the teams. We would go to a home or an orphanage with bags and bags of brand-new shoes, and would find the right sizes for the children and help them put them on. Oh, I will never, ever forget that. They were so excited. Many of them wanted to wear them right away, but others wanted to save them for nice occasions. Kneeling at these orphans’ feet, taking off their old, smelly shoes, and helping them put on their brand-new shoes, was one of the most joyful experiences I’ve ever had.
And I realized that for so many of them, this was their second pair of shoes. They now owned two, and for them, that was richness. At one home, they asked us how many shoes we owned.
I wasn’t expecting that question. I reluctantly responded diez (10), and that just seemed like so many. I know one of the girls on the trip with me had a lot more than that, and I probably would have too if it weren’t for shoe size and money. We can go on and on about how rich we are in America compared to third world countries, but here it was right in front of me. These beautiful children had one pair of shoes, now two, and I had ten. Their eyes widened when they heard how many I had. Why would anyone need that many? I must be so rich.
It’s so easy to play the comparison game. She has fifty pairs of shoes and I only have ten; why is she so blessed and I’m not? But we rarely play the comparison game in reverse, do we. I have ten pairs of shoes and she only has two; why am I so blessed? That kind of thinking will hopefully result in gratefulness to the Lord for His provision, in careful consideration of what is necessary and what is extravagant, and in an eagerness to help others who don’t have even the most basic necessities.
Ten pairs of shoes or two? I don’t think I’ve looked at shoes the same way since.
Where I End
I couldn’t put it better:
“I still have the luggage tag tied to my messenger bag. I can be stubborn and sentimental like that, but I know I should move on. Life is more than a destination. If I would put myself aside, I’m sure I’d find scandalous paradoxes here or anywhere.
Where I end, He begins.”
I’m stubborn. I’m sentimental. My people, my Peru, you’re in my heart and always will be. But life is more than a destination. The pieces of beauty I saw there are scattered everywhere here as well. There’s work to be done here as well as there. Maybe someday, I will have a destination again. Maybe it will be Peru. But for now, I am here. Right here. In my feeling of being overwhelmed in my studies, my textbook that hasn’t arrived, my jobs that won’t start, and my sickness that won’t go away. I’m here, He’s here. My fear can disappear. I want myself to end. He will begin.
Say Goodbye
I miss the children I met in Peru so much. I’m realizing it more and more as the days go by. We visited nine homes in a month, spending as little as one afternoon at some of them, a week at the most at others.
Yet somehow, in such a short amount of time, I met hundreds of children, and they are never to be forgotten.
Something the organization I went with told us in the orientation before we left the States was, at each orphanage, to try to form a special connection with one child.
That helped me a lot. I didn’t limit myself to only one child, but I allowed myself to slow down and focus on those children who really wanted to meet me. This was especially easy when we were working with larger groups, since there were enough of us to give attention to a larger number of children. And either way, it helped me to really focus on building relationships as much as possible.
We worked at three teen girls’ homes, one girls’ orphanage, two boys’ orphanages, one community center, and two traditional-style orphanages. I wish I could communicate what it was like to walk through the door of the home and be enveloped by their love and excitement. “Senorita Anna!” I would see the kids I had specifically befriended and they would come around and cling to me. We did little VBS programs, but some of my favorite times were playing with them, talking to them, letting them play with my hair and asking them questions and answering their questions.
The worst was saying goodbye. Especially at the girls’ home where we spent a week in Cusco with a team from Texas. On Saturday, our last day there, we put on a huge carnival for the girls. We also brought in the boys from the home we’d visited the afternoon before. The afternoon was amazing. It was like a dreamland, like a departure from reality. The kids were carefree and excited; they were actually kids for a few hours. And then crashing down to the aftermath, of the goodbyes. We were all hugging, and crying, and exchanging e-mail addresses for so long. The team was crying, the girls were crying. Our bus pulled away when it was almost completely dark. The girls were waving, blowing kisses, wiping away their tears as we wiped away ours.
I’m back to my “normal” life now, but I can’t forget the children. I want to take care of them. It’s hard to think of them without getting teary eyed. I love them so much. I just want to love them like Jesus would. I know He loves them. And they brought me so much. They, who have nothing to give, in reality have so much to give.
Will I Forget You Now?
Poverty… is no cliche
when I walk its filthy, narrow streets
and look into its children’s eyes.
Statistics… are faces, not numbers
they are clinging hugs and questions
and unforgettable moments.
Orphans… are not a target group
when their love-hungry smiles light up the room
and they run their fingers through my hair.
But what was this all for? Philosophical observations from my ivory tower? Guilt-ridden ponderings on poverty and justice from my cozy American suburb? I think it makes a difference to not only be aware of the truth from a distance, but to see and smell and touch it up close. To be sick and weary. To be homesick. To be dirty. But still, what sort of difference will even experiential knowledge make?
What I yearn for is the most basic thing of all - that somehow, some way, those children in the eleven homes we visited in one short month’s time can understand that it was not just us reaching out to them. I want them to know that when we hugged them, Jesus was hugging them. When we gave them new shoes, Jesus knelt at their feet, tying them on. When we told them Bible stories, God was speaking to them.
In the end, just the knowledge doesn’t matter if I can’t go on and be Jesus to someone else. I want to remember my little Peruvian friends and how it felt to become empty and let Jesus’ love be poured through me.
This Is It
I’m leaving for Peru early tomorrow morning. So check Anna in Peru for updates from now until August 4th or so. See you there!
Packing for Peru
A month is a long time to live out of one suitcase, I’m discovering. And lots of nuisance items are needed - like detergent, Kleenex, and hand sanitizer. And one suitcase only holds so many clothes and other random items. And I’m not a very experienced packer.
These are all things I’m learning today.
I always like the feeling of narrowing down all my possessions to a few bags, though. It’s nice to know that my material possessions have been necessarily limited to that amount. There are still so many things that I don’t need, but it’s a good feeling to lessen the amount of stuff around me.
Preparation for Peru
I realized I haven’t said anything about this on my blog yet - I’m going on my first missions trip/overseas experience ever next month, starting the fifth. I’m going to Peru for a month with a group of other college-aged interns to serve in some orphanages. I’m extremely excited about it! I have a lot to do this month to finish getting ready to go - taking care of vaccinations, things I need to buy for the trip, etc. And I’m nervous, too. Thankfully, I’ve gotten more excited than nervous, because I got my manual in the mail recently so I know more about what to expect.
Anyway, I would appreciate your prayers as I get ready to go. By God’s grace I was able to raise more than 100% of my support by the June 1st deadline. And the deadline was only for 50% of my support! It’s been amazing. (Some of the extra money will be used for buying things for the orphans or my hosts, and maybe a few of my extra travel expenses.) As of right now, I’m pretty sure I’m going to take my laptop along, so I should be able to blog from there.
With all that being said, I suppose I should go be productive. I got a lucky day off from work - my boss just didn’t schedule me today. I’m loving it. Have a great Wednesday!
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I'm Anna. I'm 22. I love reading and writing. I'm a recent college graduate living at home. And I hope you are blessed by what you read here.