future
Closing walls and ticking clocks
I love Coldplay’s song “Clocks” - it’s one of my recent favorites. Have any of you heard it? You can listen to a sample here. The lyrics and melody are lovely, and there are certain lines that shimmer for me. One of those comprises the title for this entry, and some others are:
Come out of things unsaid
Shoot an apple off my head
And a trouble that can’t be named
A tiger’s waiting to be tamed…
Come back and take you home
I could not stop that you now know…
Home, home, where I wanted to go…
It probably doesn’t make much sense unless you hear it. I’m not even sure what the song means. But I started listening to it a few weeks before graduation, and for me, it really captures this time in my life, all the little pieces of beauty, longing, and uncertainty. I’m trying to pick up the pieces right now, frantically fitting them together. And then I stop and realize, it’s okay that everything has scattered, lying around my feet. I’ll bend to pick it up, but maybe I won’t try to force a pattern just yet.
Tomorrow morning, I graduate.
My soul waits for the Lord;
He is my help and my shield.
For my heart is glad in Him,
because I trust in His holy name.
Let Your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon me,
even as I hope in You.
-from Psalm 33:20-22
If to distant lands I scatter
If I sail to farthest seas
Would You find and firm and gather
Till I only dwell in Thee
If I flee from greenest pastures
Would You leave to look for me
Forfeit glory to come after
Till I only dwell in Thee
If my heart has one ambition
If my soul one goal to seek
This my solitary vision
Till I only dwell in Thee
That I only dwell in Thee
Till I only dwell in thee
-”Hymn,” Brooke Fraser
Less Than Four Weeks
This impending graduation seems so unreal. On my way to class this morning, I thought about how I only have three more Mondays here. How could that be possible? Yesterday I was a nervous 17-year-old at freshman orientation. Today I’m 21, and I’ve almost finished my illustrious undergraduate career. 
I think I finally understand why adults are always complaining about how quickly time goes. It really does just fly by!
The changes looming ahead are terrifying, overwhelming, and exciting all at once. Everything in my life feels so chaotic right now, and I know the chaos is only going to increase over the next few months. I have such a desire to simplify, to have everything and everyone I love in one place, and to know what my life is going to look like in the future. But that’s not possible right now.
I have a couple of job possibilities on the horizon, one of which I’ve already interviewed for and should be finding out about in the next couple of days. The other possibility is the one I really, really want. Interviewing doesn’t begin until next month, though. Both jobs would start in July or August. I would appreciate your prayers. 
Am I ready to be a full-fledged grown-up? I don’t really feel like it. I’m thankful for my parents and their support. My friends are scattering in so many different directions, from South America to Tibet. (Actually, not Tibet.) Yes, life is just going to be crazy for awhile. But He’s along for the ride, and more than that, He’s guiding me every step of the way. I have nothing to worry about. If only I could remember that more often.
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I'm Anna. I'm 22. I love reading and writing. I'm a recent college graduate living at home. And I hope you are blessed by what you read here.