Can God Make Me?

When you say, “Can God make me become a Christian?” I tell you yes, for herein rests the power of the gospel. It does not ask your consent; but it gets it. It does not say, “Will you have it?” but it makes you willing in the day of God’s power… It knocks the enmity out of your heart. You say, I do not want to be saved; Christ says you shall be. He makes our will turn round, and then you cry,”‘Lord save, or I perish!” -Charles Spurgeon (emphasis mine)

Double posted from my Facebook… this is incredibly humbling because were it not for God’s grace, I would still say “I do not want to be saved.”

[photo credit]

Rebuilding

In the early days of pregnancy, I feel like a different person.

It’s hard for me to remember what life was like a mere three weeks earlier, before I started feeling sick all the time.

The elusive “before pregnancy” days tease me mentally as I lie on the couch, remembering melodramatically how I “used to” pack A.J.’s lunch every day and keep a clean house.

But the change lies in more than daily tasks. I feel of touch with people. I don’t blog. I don’t read. (Whispering…) I skip my devotions for weeks.

How do I remain confident of His love when I’m slipping?

Thirteen weeks in, I’m feeling exhausted, but otherwise a lot like my old self. I know I have to rebuild… on a foundation of grace.

photo

Sunrise and Sunflowers.

{image credit}

[A simple “thank you” doesn’t seem like enough for the outpouring of encouragement and prayers I received in response to my last post. The body of Christ is a beautiful thing, including in the online sphere.]

When you’re in the pit it’s hard to climb out – whether it’s a pit of anxiety, depression, self-pity, anger, bitterness, or drought.

Sin is immensely powerful. Sometimes I feel like I’m trapped in it completely.

“But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” (1 Cor. 15:57)

He died so I can be forgiven, my sins atoned for – so like the prodigal son, no, as the prodigal daughter, I may know His compassion, embrace, and celebration.

Trust, I find, means believing in Jesus that He can and will save me from my sins, just like He promised. I make it very difficult for myself, seeking out the warnings in the Bible and thinking the promises won’t apply to me. But they aren’t just promises – they’re commands. He commands me to repent, believe the gospel, and bear fruit in keeping with repentance. And He promises that if I come to Him, He will receive me.

Peace!

The Only Way We Can Know His Ways

{image credit}

“I saw that the most important thing was to give myself to the reading of the Word of God, and to meditation on it, that thus my heart might be comforted, encouraged, warned, reproved, instructed; and that thus, by means of the Word of God, whilst meditating on it, my heart might be brought into experimental communion with the Lord.

I began therefore to meditate on the New Testament from the beginning, early in the morning. The first thing I did, after having asked in a few words the Lord’s blessing upon His precious Word, was to begin to meditate on the Word of God, searching as it were into every verse to get blessing out of it.”

- George Mueller, quoted in A Place of Quiet Rest by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

.

.

Two very different ways of saying the same thing! Love His Word!

The Prosaic and Radical

Morning comes again, and I awake to my familiar roles: wife, mother. I love them both. Thank God for His grace because I fail at them every day.

But sometimes in the midst of laundry and dishes, I struggle with how limited my world seems now.

When I was younger, I wanted to work in an orphanage overseas. I did go to Peru and work in several orphanges when I was 19. I saw poverty and love, and especially my own selfishness.

Now I am married with a baby, and I love my home, my sweet little family, my daily duties, the quiet spaces in which to meet with God.

Yet I am afraid that my simple life will gradually descend into a comfortable forgetfulness of the needy world.

The years will slip by, one by one…

and I won’t remember.

{image credit}

I think of this verse from 1 Timothy, describing the worthy widow:

“and having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work.” (5:10)

Now and then I hear someone speak about being radical for Jesus. And it feels like a burden. I can’t move my family to Mexico or sponsor five Compassion children or work for World Vision. Not right now.

But I rest free, burden escaping, when I remember God accepts the poorest offering when it’s all I can give.

A high calling, that – all I can give? It is enough to consume my life, as it did for the worthy widow.

I seek wholeness. To give everything to my family, especially in this season.

Yet to know that forgetting the church, and the world outside my door would be robbing my children of the worldwide perspective I want them to have.

Being absorbed in only my own life and family might cause me to miss opportunities for outreach, even the small ones.

As the day ends, another day of washing a little face and putting toys away and fighting my propensity to grumble, I must pray for His Spirit to give me a pure and sincere devotion to Christ, and the good works He has prepared for me.

***

I would love to hear your heart on this. Please share your thoughts on what it means for you to be a radical disciple of Christ in your small everydays.

If I Am New

{image credit}

Adjectives that describe me very accurately:

1. Immature.
2. Selfish.
3. Hypocritical.
4. Proud.
5. Judgmental.
6. Unforgiving.

Verses that are convicting me:

• “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” (Matt. 7:1-3)
• “Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you? Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who hears and does not do them is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it, immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great.” (Luke 6:46-49)
• “Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?” (James 4:11-12)
• “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” (Eph. 4:31)

And especially this one:

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.

But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.

If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.

(James 1:19-26)

In view of my (specific, besetting) sin issues, I have only one option: repentance. If I am saved, I can’t continue in this kind of sin. James makes that clear. If I don’t learn to bridle my tongue, I’m deceiving myself and am a stranger to God.

If I judge others harshly, I will be judged with the same measure.

If I hear Jesus’ words but don’t obey them, I will be ruined.

If I am a new creation, I will daily die to myself and put off my old sinful nature.

I’m not saying that I should resort to works righteousness… but to righteous works in response to God’s free gift of grace in Christ Jesus.

When I realized what His death on the cross meant for me, as I was lost in my sins, I was so glad. I believe I have received that gift in my heart, and cling to the cross by faith. But I remain in a mire of immaturity that does not honor God and does not assure me of my salvation.

So I say to myself: put away filthiness… put away wickedness… and receive the word with meekness. Hear it. Do it. Bridle your tongue. Serve. Cling to Him for grace to obey.

My Word for 2011

{image credit}

Dear blog, I’ve missed you. This is the end-of-December post I said I might write.

Ahh… a new year. The blank squares of 2011 are lined up expectantly, waiting for me to fill them with the New and Improved Me. She’s the one who has a quiet time every morning, exercises every afternoon, has a clean and organized home, and is an exemplary wife and mother.

But lately the Same Old Me has been arrested by the thought that my resolution-making seems more about taking control of my life than conforming my character to the image of Christ.

I love what Ann’s community is doing: each member selecting a word she hopes will characterize 2011 for her – naming the year. For Ann, it’s here. Other words I’ve read are simplify, worship, and joy.

For the past few days I’ve been pondering my choice of a word. And what I’ve thought about most is the way I’ve neglected the Word of God and prayer lately. My lack of discipline has resulted in weeds taking root, choking my fruitfulness.

So I’ve known 2011 must be different, because I can’t abide in Christ if I’m not sitting at His feet, taking in His words and offering back my own.

As I wrote this entry, still thinking about my word choice, I was reminded of Mary and Martha again. Martha was distracted with serving, while I’m distracted by leisure, entertainment, and the sticky world wide Web. But Mary chose something better than either service or leisure – the good portion: sitting at Jesus’ feet, listening to Him.

May 2011 be The Year of Listening for me. May I sit at His feet, soaking in His words. May I learn to have a quiet spirit. I see nowhere else to go. He has the words of eternal life.

Brought me life, brought me home.

Photo source

Like I did last week, I’m going to post the lyrics from one of our worship songs in church this morning (“For the Cross” by Matt Redman).

I will love You for the cross
And I will love You for the cost
Man of sufferings, bringer of my peace

You came into a world of shame
And paid the price we could not pay
Death that brought me life, blood that brought me home
Death that brought me life, blood that brought me home

And I love You for the cross
I’m overwhelmed by the mystery
I love You for the cost
That Jesus, You would do this for me
When You were broken, You were beaten
You were punished, I go free
You were wounded and rejected
In Your mercy, I am healed

Jesus Christ, the sinner’s friend
Does this kindness know no bounds?
With Your precious blood You have purchased me

Oh, the mystery of the cross
You were punished, You were crushed
But that punishment has become my peace
Yes, that punishment has become my peace

Weekend Links, Vol. 9

I thought I would try a new (old) format this week. Let me know if you prefer the excerpts!

On Having a Flabby Soul… by Grace at Sharing Grace. “I am a sinner.  I am saved by grace.  But, I am still a sinner… Full of besetting sins(temper/impatience) and often indulging those sins… because it feels good. But it never really feels good.”

Seeking and enjoying Christ by Stephanie at Thirsty Soul. “Each day presents a choice; will I abide? Will I keep knowing Jesus the main thing, or will I politely ask Him to step back and wait for me while I take care of other things?”

The Night the Lights Went Out by Rachel at Small Notebook. “I got more done in an hour without electricity than I did during the entire rest of the day.”

On matters of life and death by Raechel at Finding My Feet. “The thought of it overtook him and he threw his arms in the air and took off running and skipping all around the graves.”

Present. by Bethany Dillon. “Am I turning my days into even more of a blur from staring into screens throughout my day rather than sitting in the quiet sometimes… turning everything off… and taking in the faithfulness and goodness of God?”

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Photo by betta design

Be Known Wherever We Are

Photo source

Happy Sunday. I wanted to share the lyrics to one of our worship songs in church this morning (“Let Your Kingdom Come” by Sovereign Grace Worship).

These words could be sung lightly, but their meaning is heavy. I’m especially moved by the line, “Lord, use us as You want, whatever the test.” That is what we’ve committed to as followers of Jesus – but what deep meaning those words have… and what that testing might look like! But may we be engaged in His glorious cause no matter what.

Your glorious cause, O God, engages our hearts
May Jesus Christ be known wherever we are
We ask not for ourselves, but for Your renown
Your cross has saved us, so we pray
Your kingdom come

Let Your kingdom come, let Your will be done
So that everyone might know Your name
Let Your song be heard everywhere on earth
Till Your sovereign work on earth is done
Let Your kingdom come

Give us Your strength, O God, and courage to speak
Perform Your wondrous deeds through those who are weak
Lord, use us as You want, whatever the test
By grace we’ll preach Your gospel till our dying breath