Hope Road

Fetus Fatigue

Douglas Groothuis, quoted at Between Two Worlds: 

It appears that millions of evangelicals, especially younger ones, are experiencing fetus fatigue. They are tired of the abortion issue taking center stage; it is time to move on to newer, hipper things–the sort of issues that excite Bono: aid to Africa, the environment, and cool tattoos. Abortion has been legal since they were born; it is the old guard that gets exercised about millions of abortions over the years. So, let’s not worry that Barack Obama and Hillary are pro-choice. That is a secondary issue. After all, neither could do that much damage regarding this issue. Evangelicals (if that word has any meaning), for God’s sake, please wake up and remember the acres of tiny corpses you cannot see.

Let me ask you this. If you cannot in good conscience vote for the Republican nominee - because of your views on war, the death penalty, or another issue - then don’t vote at all.

I’m serious, not sarcastic. Sometimes we’re put in situations where it’s lose-lose. I’m still unsure about McCain’s position on stem cell research; I need to look into it more. If it turns out that he supports it, then I won’t vote for him, and I simply won’t vote at all.

So if you find yourself unable to vote for McCain because you honestly don’t believe in war or the death penalty, etc., then I ask you, please don’t vote for a pro-choice candidate, either. I think that’s the only way we can be consistent.

Tags: abortion, Democrat, evangelical, McCain, pro-choice, pro-life, Republican

Emerging/Emergent: Question for My Readers

A question has emerged (pun intended) from some of my reading and thinking lately. I know there is supposedly a difference between what “emerging” means as opposed to “emergent.” I am unsure that I have a correct understanding of this difference, and I would like to have a better grasp of it.

Whether you classify yourself as emerging/emergent or something else, what is your understanding of the meaning of these terms, and especially, the difference between the two?

The Emerging Church and Obama

A couple of links: the first related to evangelicals, the emerging church, abortion, and Obama; the second a great review of the forthcoming book Why We’re Not Emergent.

Evangelicals for Obama? (Between Two Worlds)

Why We’re Not Emergent (By Two Guys Who Should Be) (9Marks)

Check back tomorrow or Tuesday for the next installment in the Soul Sisters series.

It’s Okay to Desire Modesty

Welcome to the second entry in the Soul Sisters series! Click here for the introduction to the series.

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Today’s truth:
You do not need to sacrifice your modesty in order to prove that you are “comfortable with your body.”

Contemporary culture is exploiting women by selling us a lie - a lie that says unless we are willing to be public with almost every aspect of ourselves, we are not truly comfortable with who we are. Instead, we’re supposedly stunted by hang-ups, prudery, self-consciousness, and shame.

Let me suggest to you that culture couldn’t be more wrong about this. Things have become twisted to such an extent that we as women now feel we have to prove that we are worthwhile and dignified by holding nothing sacred. There is nothing we shouldn’t wear, nothing we shouldn’t talk about, no secret we should keep from the world.

Yet I believe that many young women are growing weary of this system. Perhaps they don’t even realize it, but they are tired of having to exploit themselves in order to be accepted. They are left defenseless and open to the scrutiny of a cold and curious world when they don’t construct any barriers for their own protection.

Modesty in clothing does not connote shame of one’s body. Rather, it connotes value - that our physical selves are sacred and important, meant to be protected, not put on display and flaunted to every passerby.

One of the cardinal virtues of a woman in years past was her modesty, and not just a narrow definition of modesty. In 1823, Webster’s dictionary had this to say:

“In females, modesty has the like character as in males; but the word is used also as synonymous with chastity, or purity of manners. In this sense, modesty results from purity of mind, or from the fear of disgrace and ignominy fortified by education and principle. Unaffected modesty is the sweetest charm of female excellence, the richest gem in the diadem of their honor.” (source)

What a beautiful definition, fitting well within the biblical paradigm. I firmly believe that not only should modesty characterize a woman of God, but modesty is a blessing of God for our protection and dignity. How much more free and empowered we would be as a culture of young women if we would embrace the principles of both outward and inward modesty. (For more on this, I encourage you to check out A Return to Modesty by Wendy Shalit, and Emily’s post on dressing modestly for yourself.)

Let’s close with some words from Scripture.

“Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness - with good works.” (1 Tim. 2:9-10)

Too Young and Conservative

One way I try to live my life is with respect for those older than me. As I’ve written before, this is so lacking in contemporary American culture. We’re encouraged to view the young as the smart and powerful ones, and not to take advice from anyone older than we are. In Titus, Paul instructs the older women to teach the younger women - which means that I as a younger woman need to be listening to and emulating older, godly women.

But this goes hand in hand with another Scriptural doctrine, that famous passage in 1 Timothy: “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in faith, in purity.”

When I write on controversial topics, it’s been said that I need to be humble (read: willing to sacrifice truth) and not talk about things I haven’t experienced. It’s implied - or stated - that I have no right to be talking about such issues, because I’m too young to know better. I have been brainwashed and I can’t think for myself, and I’ll grow out of it someday, hopefully.

To me, this is such a discouraging perspective, and unbiblical, too. I do strive after humility. I do want to learn from those who are older than I am. But my age has nothing to do with my grasp of truth. I will not be deterred by those who say I don’t know my own mind because I don’t have any life experience, or who are quick to assume certain things about my background and who I am. (I am not saying I never do this to anyone else. I do, to my sorrow.)

Yes, I am young. Yes, I believe in complementary roles for men and women. Yes, I believe in the five points of Calvinism. Yes, I believe that part of modesty’s intent is to serve my brothers in Christ. Yes, I believe that women should not be pastors. Yes, I know that we all are influenced by our own races and cultures and backgrounds and assumptions and hang-ups and denominations and dysfunction.

But these are issues that I have read about, though about, prayed over, and even cried about. I am not speaking about them lightly. I am not too young to understand. I am not brainwashed. I am a sinner saved by unfathomable grace. I have been led along this road of hope by Jesus’ hand for awhile now, and I’m doing my best to follow Him. I want so much to be able to please everyone and accommodate everyone’s beliefs. But I can’t, in good conscience, sacrifice truth on the altar of tolerance.

Being conservative, I am an easy target in this postmodern age, because I make the radical claim that what I believe is true for everyone. I know there are shady areas for Christians, that sometimes there are more questions than answers. I freely admit there are so many things I haven’t learned yet, so many things I don’t understand completely. I know that I can say all the right things and still have a black heart. Oh, how I want to avoid being a Pharisee. But oh, how I want to share my heart on these biblical truths.

I am not too young, and I will not allow myself to be crushed. This may not always come across in how I write, but I do try so hard to communicate with humility, gentleness, and respect. And yet each day I also take a stand on what I believe. I have to keep reminding myself that despite what others might think, being young does not disqualify me.

Starbucks Subterfuge

I was catching up on reading blogs just now, and also preparing to head out to Starbucks to study for a couple of hours, since I still have a gift card from Christmas. The very last new post in my feed reader was entitled Saudi Police Arrest Woman for… Sitting in Starbucks (not for young readers). And this was an American woman; how much worse do they treat Saudi women? I never want to have a cavalier attitude about my freedom, even about something so simple as going to a coffee shop to do some homework. If I sat with a guy who wasn’t a family member, no one would even pay attention. Yet this woman couldn’t even have a business meeting without being arrested. Crazy, the tyranny that is imposed.

Not Where, But What

“The reason Christians are not making a bigger difference in our world is not because Christians aren’t where they should be. That’s only a small part of the problem. In other words, we should have more Christians in law, more Christians in higher education, and more Christians in media, medicine, and music. But that’s not the main problem. The main problem is that Christians aren’t what they should be right where they are.”

-Os Guiness

(HT: On Earth as it is in Heaven)

Spirituality in Opposite-Gender Friendships

In my post Purity Principles, under my discussion of the need to guard our conduct, I mentioned “not becoming spiritually dependent on someone of the opposite gender who could be a romantic interest.” Casey asked me to expound on that idea.

First, let me outline the four spaces of human social interaction. These are called “sacred spaces.” I’m unsure exactly where this concept comes from; I’ve heard it repeatedly from a professor at my school, and I think it’s an excellent description of how things are.

Sacred spaces:

1. Intimate. These are people who you don’t wear masks with - your spouse and very close friends.
2. Personal. People who are close to you, but not so close that you would tell them everything. They know you well and are good friends, but do not see the deepest parts of your soul.
3. Social. Anyone who you know by name/as an acquaintance, are casual friends with, interact with somewhat regularly, etc.
4. Public. Strangers/people you don’t know, famous people, people you pass on the street, etc.

A cardinal principle of sacred spaces is that we only have the capacity for a certain number of relationships in each space; some people have more capacity than others, and some numbers are more healthy than others. The only number I recall with certainy is 2-3 in intimate; the others are informed guesses - around 3-10 in personal, several dozen in social, and many more in public. This whole concept has broad implications for how we interact with people, but I’m going to focus on just this topic today.

Now, in friendships and relationships with the opposite gender, only family relationships should ever be in the intimate space: parent and child, brother and sister, husband and wife. This is partly because spiritual intimacy with someone of the opposite gender naturally leads to physical intimacy. And it is mainly because this level of soul-baring interaction is only meant for marriage. There are three areas where this can become a struggle for Christians: church, friendships, and relationships.

• In the church, we are often encouraged to be completely open with anyone and everyone, particularly in youth groups and singles groups. Honesty, transparency, and authenticity are all very good things, and being personal with each other is good, too. But there is a line that should not be crossed. The times of intimate sharing and soul-baring conversation should not be done in mixed-gender groups.
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• In friendships, there is often a temptation to become spiritually dependent on your other-gendered friend. You have the same ideals and goals in life, so you begin to hold each other accountable about certain things and to lean on each other spiritually. This is dangerous because it is very rare that at least one person in a friendship like this will not begin to develop romantic feelings for the other. And when two people have been very close on a spiritual level, it is extremely difficult not to be close in other ways; and this can cause a lot of difficulty setting appropriate emotional and physical boundaries, even in a friendship.
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• In relationships, this is even more confusing. At some point, as you fall in love with this person, you are going to want to share the deepest parts of your heart. This is part of finding out that you want to marry each other, and I don’t know how exactly this will look in the engagement period. But one good way that I have been taught to keep spiritual intimacy from developing too much and too soon, is to not have devotions and pray together. This really draws you together too strongly for a dating relationship, fosters intimacy in prayer, and makes your spiritual life too much a part of your “couple-hood.” Your spiritual lives need to be individually developed, even during marriage, and especially while dating.

Modesty for Worldwide Witness

We talk about modesty a lot in the church, don’t we? And yet we as Christian women are often reluctant to commit to it. There seem to be so few clothing options. Or it seems to be confining and subservient. Or it’s too much trouble to think about specific standards for ourselves. The list of excuses/cop-outs could go on and on. And the list of reasons for modesty could go on and on, too. But I want to give you one that we don’t often think about: we should be modest to serve the witness and testimony of the church around the world.

I read Daughters of Hope: Stories of Witness and Courage in the Face of Persecution for one of my classes last semester. The author visited persecuted Christian women around the world and interviewed them, learning their stories and their thoughts on the Christian life. When the team visited women from the Arab world, they were given a fresh insight from these incredible women. The author writes, “Many Arab Christian women reinforced the link between their witness and the behavior of Christians in the West. ‘It does terrible damage to Christians who are risking their lives when nonbelievers can point to the decadence of American Christians. Please remind the women and girls to dress modestly, to be kind to others and to show generosity.’”

Wow. Just wow. What a motivation for modesty. Many in the Arab world associate Christianity with Western culture. And when American Christians live decadent, immoral lives, we are harming the witness of Arab Christians on the other side of the world. I find it interesting that the first thing the Arab woman who made that statement mentioned was the need for women and girls to be modest.

Modesty means that we dress in a way that does not draw inappropriate attention to our bodies, that is honorable and not distracting or manipulative. It means that we seek to set godly standards for ourselves in this area, instead of being careless about it. I would love to see - and I am beginning to see - a subculture of American Christian women who have made the commitment to honor Christ and Christians around the world by being modest.

Older and Younger

In another response to my “Topics: You Decide” post on January 16th, Joe wrote, “I am friends with a lot of people your age. Sometimes we don’t relate but I keep my trap closed. But I would like to know how to relay wisdom without sound[ing] old or jaded.”

I’m not going to assume anything about the specifics of this particular situation/s. But this did get me thinking about an attitude that I see quite a bit among the culture of my peers (not necessarily people I know personally). And that is an unwillingness to listen to or receive advice from those who are older than we are. Our culture as a whole is developing a very disrespectful attitude towards authority figures. Even in the most “innocent” television programming for kids, we see that parents and teachers are consistently mocked and made to seem like idiots. Kids and young adults are shown to be smart, savvy, and in control of their lives.

I think it’s great when young people have their own opinions and know what they believe and are confident in who they are outside of what their parents and other adults are telling them. But it’s important for us not to carry this attitude too far into an unwillingness to hear from those who have walked life’s road a little longer, particularly our parents (for those of us who are blessed with godly parents) or other mature adults God has placed in our lives. That’s not to say we’re going to agree with everything they say, and that’s fine. But we need to do them the honor of listening to them, and at least being willing to consider their advice and ideas.

So what kind of attitude should you have if you are in the position of being the older adult? I can relate to that a little, I guess. I’m 21, but I do interact with teenagers who are 15 and 16 years old - my sisters’ friends, mostly. And sometimes you just feel irrelevant or sidelined, regardless of the fact that you do have valuable things you could share with them. I think for me, part of it is just not minding that feeling of irrelevance. We’re just at different life stages; they’ll mature and move on, just as I did.

And also, don’t dismiss the power of being a silent example. I could name dozens of people who have never sat me down and given me advice about life, but who modeled godly living and principles for me, while rarely saying a word. When I first got to college, I felt so lost sometimes because I was surrounded by peers, who mostly had lower lifestyle standards than I did. There were very few people for me to bring to mind and think, “Yes, that’s what I want to be like.” Eventually, those kinds of people came into my life, and even when they don’t tell me what they’re thinking, their silent examples are powerful.

Any other thoughts are welcomed, as always.