Two Under 2: Guest Post by LeAnna

Ironically, I’ve been so busy with having two children under 2 that I’ve hardly had time to post about it. Even as I write, I’m trying to get Eliza to sleep (if it sounds complicated, it is). I’ve been meaning to publish this post from LeAnna for a few weeks now. I think you are really going to enjoy it. I’ve reread it a few times and it’s blessed me so much!

I’ve been reading LeAnna’s blog at least since Christian was born. She is so funny and real, and also one of the most encouraging bloggers I know. (And extremely thoughtful – she sent Eliza an adorable, personalized outfit.) Her blog’s definitely worth a regular read!

When I became a mother I realized just why God breathed inspiration into man in regards to writing the Word.

Had a woman been given the task…

Well, just let me tell you.

That Proverbs 31 passage we women hold dear would have started out somewhat different. I can see it now, “A diligent Mother, who can find? She spends her days keeping her children from causing one another bodily harm…” and that’s where it would have been left, because no doubt, in the two seconds that it took for the Holy Spirit to inspire that Hebrew Mama, her little 2 year old Samuel would have been busy trying to poke challah down baby Miriam’s throat. Soon after preventing impending doom, said Mama would have remembered she left a basket of wash at the well in town. Packing up both children, she journeys back to retrieve the garments. No sooner do they leave their tent and Samuel declares he has gone poo in his britches…and baby Miriam suddenly becomes ravenously hungry.

Proverbs what, Lord?

I have two children, twenty one months apart, and I spend my days in perpetual motion.

Mostly wiping little bottoms and batting at the parenting fog that likes to fall in front of my face like freshly cut bangs. Other noted skills are preventing falls and the ingestion of foreign objects and promoting peace and goodwill between brother and sister. Occasionally breaking down into the puddle of imperfect and overwhelmed. Okay, more than occasionally. I might live there for days on end, but never fear, I have rain boots and I’m not afraid to stomp while puddle jumping.

Having several small children is challenging. Tiring. Overwhelming. Busy.

When my daughter was born, and I was transitioning to having two under two for a short while, I thought surely I would never survive. I vividly remember our first outing, just the three of us. I was dazed and confused, walked into the store, made it down a few aisles and found myself headed back to the car. Some stores have small carts, I’ve found. They don’t fit the car seat and the young toddler. Must plan accordingly.

“Planning accordingly” turned into me not going anywhere if I could help it. I harnessed all my energy into getting my two Littles to nap simultaneously. That is no small feat, you see. The pinnacle of mothering thus far. I rejoiced the day it happened and may have lightly fist bumped myself in the mirror because (shhhh) there was no one else around.

Then, I blinked a few times and wouldn’t you know, we’re quickly approaching 3rd and 1st birthdays. I’ve survived two under two so far. We go places now, on a regular basis and sometimes I even brave the small-cart stores and let my oldest walk with his own two legs. I do, however, still fist bump the mirror and talk to myself. To top it all off, I’ve even got two new pieces of luggage to prove my sojourn into the land of two under two (the bags under my eyes) but I still find my Husband to be quite attractive. Come to think of it, that’s how we ended up here.

So, when I hear of a friend who is soon to be a Mom of two (or more!) small tykes, I smile.

I tell her she can do it.
That she’ll make it.
That she’ll be the most tired she’s ever been, but that it’s possible.

Because it is. In an act of total mercy, God transforms you into something you never knew you could be. Even though some days you feel like you’re in survival mode, and some days you wonder if your head is actually attached to your body. When we look past the here and now, it will find us empty nesting, wishing for some of those days again. As I struggle through the impossible manifested as possible, I try to keep this
fresh in my tired mind. These are the years we will miss, my fellow (weary) Mothers. Repeat after me: These are the years we will miss.

All of that to say, I’m thankful that God did not inspire the written Word through me, but also thankful that He calls iron to sharpen iron. Now, please pass the cup of perpetual hot coffee. Love. Love. Love. Love your husband, love your children, love your fellow Mom-kind. Rest in Christ when there is no rest to be found. In doing so, compare nothing to no one, freely giving grace as it has been given to you. Perhaps equally as important, keep the bright pink play dough that your 2 1/2 year old loves, out of reach of your 9 month old’s chubby hands…

*No children were harmed during the 1 week writing process of this sage piece of wisdom. The end.

*Not really the end, I would also like to remind Anna to soak up that newborn smell for as long as she possibly can. Dear friend, if you find yourself in the midst of one of those days, stop everything you’re doing and sit down. Pull sweet Eliza up to your face and breathe in her newborn smell. Even if Christian is beating the hair right off of your legs that haven’t been shaved in six days…breathe it in deep, Mama. It won’t get the dishes done, or make the baby stop crying, but you’ll be glad you did.

*Now, The End.

Where We Are Today

Little ones with colds… thankful for saline drops, the bulb syringe, DVDs to watch, and extra snuggles.

Fatigue… thankful for coffee.

Hunger… thankful for healthy, nourishing food.

Dirty clothes… thankful for a functioning washer and dryer.

A wakeful, catnapping baby… thankful for a pacifier and a glider.

Overwhelmed… by the constant gifts heaped upon me so undeservingly.

Behind on blogging… but blessedly busy.

Gospel. Grace. The fragrance of Christ. Life to those being saved… words on my heart.

Savior… most blessed gift of all.

Everywhere I Look

Writing feels foreign to my fingers. Instead, my senses are familiar with the achingly sweet scent of my baby’s head… soapy dishwater filled with silverware… warm November breezes… my toddler’s exuberant exclamations… the startling quietness of naptime… creamy cups of coffee… messes everywhere I look…

God has been good to me in this season. As often as I’ve wanted to have a self-indulgent pity party about how exhausted and overwhelmed I am, I’ve been reminded moment by moment of how precious these children are, how short the time is, and what a huge privilege I have in raising them. It’s truly been an acute sense of blessing that’s prevented me from wallowing in discontentment or sadness.

And He has given me so much grace in caring for them, and especially with Christian – just loving to read to him and talk to him and play with him, and be patient and consistent with him, even when I don’t feel like it. Enjoying mothering didn’t come this naturally when he was an infant. I was so afraid of how hard it would be after Eliza was born. Don’t get me wrong, he has definitely had behavior issues (naturally) and I have had patience issues. But the Lord has been at work in my heart and has worked through me and in me. I never could do it on my own.

He’s sustained me emotionally as well. I’ve mostly dealt with a little anxiety – over that overwhelming feeling of grogginess; knowing I can’t get caught up on sleep; my house constantly sliding deeper into the pit of chaos and having to pull it out again and again; the physical changes of having a baby; being able to accomplish necessary tasks and prepare for the holidays, my sister’s wedding, and a huge road trip; having our usual evening routine replaced by caring for an extremely fussy baby.

But somehow I am just so focused on how brief this season is. With Christian I struggled more with giving up “my time.” Being a planner and a type A person, it’s hard for me when the baby is in these unpredictable, pre-routine days. I was afraid of how it would be to just go go go all day long with no tandem naps or rest break. And some days that’s how it is, but I manage.

I actually find myself thriving on the busyness… although I do start to break down by the evening. It’s almost easier to try to fit housework and to-do’s around the edges of caring for the kids, with no spare time, than it is to have one toddler and have to fill the time meaningfully.

Eliza’s stirring from another catnap so I’ll have to limit any further pontification. Thankful today…

Baby Names I Like… But Won’t Use

(enjoying our walk wide-awake for the first time)

When I shared the story of naming Eliza, I mentioned that I became a bit of a name nerd while I was pregnant with her. I have a few favorite naming websites, and even though I’m no longer pregnant and don’t have an immediate need to do this, I still enjoy reading about names and writing down my favorites. I have almost enough names for a family of 30 children at this point.

Before Eliza was born, I ran across a popular blog where a pregnant twin mom “gave away” some of the baby names she had considered but didn’t end up using. I thought that was a fun idea, so I’m sharing some of my favorites that I can never use for one reason or another. Since I’ll never have children with these names, feel free to share your honest opinions of them…

Sylvie: “from the forest.” I think Sylvie is pretty and whimsical. I can completely imagine a cute, chubby baby named Sylvie. It’s too repetitive with our last name, though. It’s not on the list of the top 1,000 names.

Willa: “resolute protection.” I love this name. It’s graceful and classy-sounding. It’s also too repetitive with our last name. It’s #968.

Eleanor: “bright, shining.” We have a little Eleanor in our church already, and Eliza and Eleanor would be too similar-sounding for sisters. Grace named her new baby Elinor. It’s a lovely, classic name, with the traditional spelling at #165.

Lilia: “lily.” I love how delicate and feminine this name is, but again, it’s too repetitive for us. It’s #876.

Eloise: “healthy, wide.” Every time I read our Eloise Wilkin storybook to Christian, I think about how much I like her name. I don’t think the style goes very well with Christian, though, and it’d definitely be too repetitive now that we have an Eliza. It’s #530.

Susannah: “lily.” I think this name is beautiful, but since my name is Anna it just wouldn’t work for us. It’s not even in the top 1,000.

Una: “one; also; lamb” (pronounced Oona). I found this name in Rainbow Valley by L.M. Montgomery, and it’s also in Stepping Heavenward by Elizabeth Prentiss. It’s a bit too “out there” for our family; I prefer names that aren’t wildly popular but are at least recognizable. Sadly it also reminds me of the game Uno. But I think some people could make it work really well. Not surprisingly, it’s not in the top 1,000 either.

Corinna: “maiden.” This is how I ended up with the middle name Corinne for Eliza. I think Corinna is a pretty name, but I didn’t want to start a trend of C’s with our oldest’s name being Christian. It’s also not a top 1,000 name.

Charlotte: diminutive of Charles, “free man.” Charlotte is a classic name that I like a lot, but again, using it would be setting a “C” precedent for future children, and our friends have a Charlotte who’s just a few weeks older than Christian. It’s #45.

Clara: “bright, clear.” Clara is yet another vintage chic choice that’s very attractive to me, if it weren’t for those same issues of repeating C’s and friends who have a little Clara. It’s #167.

What do you think of these names? And what are some names (boy or girl) you like but won’t ever use for one reason or another? Do tell!

Two Under 2: Things I’ve Learned (Guest Post)

I’m excited to welcome my first guest author in the Two Under 2 series: Jessica Telian of Something Simple. Jessica is the mama of Cedar and Genoa, and I loved reading what she had to say about the experience of mothering two little ones so close together in age. I completely relate to so many of the things she’s shared here… her fifth point was so encouraging for me to reread since Eliza was born. Thank you very much for sharing, Jessica!

I’m still looking for more submissions to this series, so if you’d like to contribute, please email me at annakristine270(at)yahoo(dot)com.

At the end of April, I became the mama of two little ones under the age of two.  My daughter, Genoa, was born when my son, Cedar, was only sixteen months old.  And in the past few months, I’ve learned several things about this challenging, but wonderful, season of my life.

1. It’s probably not going to be as hard as you think it will be: When I was pregnant with Genoa, and mothering Cedar, the thought of multiplying this times two was rather intimidating.  But after Genoa was born, I realized that it doesn’t actually multiply times two and being a mama to two wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.  Granted, this may not apply to everyone, especially if you have extra circumstances like a colicky baby, etc.  But for me, and for several of my friends who also have two under two, it wasn’t nearly as hard as we thought it would be…and I think I know why.  When you have your first baby, everything changes!  You don’t get nearly as much sleep, you can’t do all the things you could before. So when you think of adding another child to everything, you think that the change will be as dramatic as the first since that’s all you have experience with.  But when you transition from one child to two, you’re already in "kid mode".  Things have already changed from having your first so it’s just a matter of figuring out logistics of adding another little person to the mix.

2. Simplify and get a system: This is a big part of figuring out the logistics of adding another little person to the mix.  Simplifying your life and figuring out a system of doing things that works for your family can do a lot for cutting down on the stress of having two littles under two.  For us this means having the diaper bag packed and ready to go at all times.  So when we randomly decide to go out as a family, or when I’m getting ready to go grocery shopping, all I need to do is grab a few diapers off the nearby stack, stuff them in the bag and we’re good to go…one less thing to think about in getting everybody out the door.  Another example is simplifying Cedar’s toys and implementing a routine that keeps them picked up at several times during the day, thus greatly reducing the stress of having a house constantly cluttered with toys.  Basically, think about whatever aspects of your life with littles stresses you out the most and figure out a system that would simplify it and thus make it a little easier for you.  A stressed mama equals stressed kids equals more stress.  Not good!

3. Try to stick with some kind of routine, at least for the mornings: For some people this will be easier than others, but I’ve found that keeping to the same basic routine for at least part of the day really ends up stabilizing both of my littles.  With Cedar taking a long nap in the morning, that has been the best segment of the day to do this with for us.  Granted, there are days where our mornings are thrown completely off, and life happens, and my kids just need to learn to go with the flow.  But trying to plan grocery shopping and going out for the afternoon while leaving our mornings at home usually ends up making the whole day go better.

4. When you go out, if at all possible, don’t rush: This is another one that can’t always happen in all situations, but if it can, it’s a good thing to strive for.  With two littles, everything inevitably takes longer when you go out…two to put in carseats, two diapers to change, etc.  So allow more than ample time.  Knowing that you have that time takes stress off you, which takes stress off them…everyone is much happier.

5. Remember that, sometimes you won’t be able to meet everybody’s needs right away and, that’s okay: A friend gave me this advice when I was pregnant with Genoa and I’ve thought about it often since then.  When you have one baby, you’re usually able to meet his or her needs pretty quickly.  But when you have two, there’s only one you and despite doing all you can do, sometimes you can’t meet both of their needs at once.  Example: you’re changing the toddler’s diaper and the baby starts crying, but you can’t get to her right away so she has to cry alone for a couple minutes.  Or the toddler needs help with something (not urgent), but you’re nursing the baby to sleep and you know that if you move right away, she’ll wake up.  There definitely are things you can do to minimize this happening (like tandem-nursing and baby-wearing), but there will be times where the baby will cry and you can’t get to her right away or the toddler will have to play alone for awhile, and that’s okay.  If, as the mama, you’re stressed out about not being able to meet both babies’ needs every time, your attitude will start to affect everyone else (it always does) and things will start to go downhill fast.

6. Enjoy the riches: In the first several weeks of having two under two, the overwhelming feeling I had was not sleeplessness, or being stretched too thin…it was of being incredibly rich.  Being able to drink in the sweet milky scent of infant and have my baby fall asleep on my chest, and also being able to watch my toddler learn and grow and explore the world…it’s amazing!  Yes, being a mama to two under two definitely has its hard times, but the joys certainly outweigh them. And with each day, I’m seeing more and more that my babies will only be babies for such a short period of time and I want to enjoy each moment I can with them.

There are many more things that the Lord has taught me in this continuing journey of motherhood, but those are the ones that stand out to me.  Bonus tip: read Loving the Little Years by Rachel Jankovic.  Rachel has five littles ages five and under, so she’s definitely been where I’m at.  It’s a short little book, written very casually, but so full of wisdom and encouragement for mamas of littles.

Two Under 2: A Day in the Life

Warning: incredibly long post ahead.

Also, I know I really need more pictures. I just did a whole 1-month-old “photo shoot” with Eliza, but none of them are on this computer.

Thirdly, the random pair of Christian’s little pants in this picture makes me laugh.

Where to begin?

I miss writing… I miss commenting on your blogs (although I’ve still been reading!). I have numerous thoughts to share, sleep-deprived though I am. I have great guest posts in an email folder waiting to be published. I plan to publish them beginning Monday (I hope!).

Life with two… well, it’s been busy, needless to say. Times like this are rare, when both of them are sleeping at the same time for more than 20 or 30 minutes. I have a sweet, riotous toddler who’s had some difficulty adjusting to the new state of things. I have an adorable, precious baby girl who would like to snuggle with me all day long, and I would love to do the same.

My days are quite a whirlwind now. I’m figuring out how to balance everything – the kids’ basic needs are taken care of first, of course, and then the less essential but important things with them like playing, going outside, etc. In between I have to fit in laundry, meal preparation, keeping things picked up, and a little cleaning. And finishing a task without several stops and starts is rare (does that make sense? Again, sleep deprivation…).

Speaking of sleep deprivation, Eliza’s been a little champ. She’s even gone one 6.5-hour stretch already. She basically wakes up once between 11 and 7, although sometimes it takes awhile to get her back to sleep. If I wasn’t so wired from forcing myself awake during the day, I might be able to get more sleep at night. But I feel very blessed she’s not waking me up every 2 hours at night. (Famous last words.)

I think I’m figuring out our new routine, even though 1-month-olds aren’t exactly predictable or schedule-able (new word!). Here’s how it looks:

7:00: Eliza wakes up and eats breakfast. A.J.’s up getting ready for work. (I’m not going to describe his exact schedule though.) I get Eliza and myself (hopefully) dressed for the day, and if I have time I make the bed and tidy up a little, depending on if she lets me.

8:00: Christian wakes up and eats breakfast. I juggle both kids’ needs and try to fit eating my own breakfast and drinking coffee in there somewhere.

8:30: Somewhere around this time Eliza falls asleep, usually while I’m carrying her around. I try to lay her in her glider, or I continue holding her while I eat breakfast. Christian watches his one half-hour movie of the day while I eat and/or clean up the kitchen.

9:00-10:00: I get Christian dressed and brush his teeth and mine. If Eliza’s sleeping, I clean up the living room and start laundry while Christian “helps” me.

10:00: Snack time – we’ve been having green smoothies every day lately. Christian loves it when I say it’s time for his smoothie. He rushes to the cupboard where I keep the blender and says, “Wow!!” because it’s noisy.

10:15-12:00: Kind of a whirlwind of playing with Christian and keeping him out of trouble, feeding Eliza and keeping her happy, catching up on tasks I’m already behind on, making any supper preparations, changing diapers, etc.

12:00: Lunchtime! Eliza’s often taking her second nap by this time, or she might be nursing or wanting to be held. Christian’s in his high chair in the kitchen and I take care of any dishes that need doing and chit-chat with him.

12:30: We hang around waiting for naptime. I try to read to Christian but he’s not having too much of it lately, other than the Bible stories A.J. reads him before bed. Sometimes if I have to feed Eliza at this time, Christian plays in the pack ‘n’ play or in his room with me, because he tends to be a little difficult right before his nap.

1:00: Naptime. Sometimes I get Eliza to sleep too, but more often she’s still awake for awhile and I have one-on-one time with her. She gets some tummy time, we “talk,” and eventually she’ll drift off to sleep. I eat lunch and usually drink another cup of coffee. I should nap and read my Bible during this time, but often I try to get things done or just remain unproductive because I’m so tired.

3:00: Christian usually wakes up by now. It’s snack time for him, and I wash my lunch dishes while he eats.

3:15-4:30: Another whirlwind time period, during which I entertain both kids, finish laundry, and if I’ve had a really crazy day, pick up the house and finish getting myself ready “for the day.”

4:30-5:30: We usually go outside. We don’t have a backyard, but we live on a tiny side street, so Christian walks up and down the street and pushes his dump truck. He loves it. I push Eliza in the stroller, following him closely and keeping him away from the busier road in spite of his vehement protests at being hindered from his chosen path. (Wow. Long sentence, anyone?)

5:30-8:00: I give Christian a bath before dinner if he got extra dirty outside. Or I get him started on his dinner. I used to cook in the evening but I’ve been using my crock-pot almost daily instead. A.J. gets home from work and Eliza’s evening fussy period begins around the same time. We juggle both kids, baths, eating dinner (sometimes in shifts), and keeping Christian from attempting all the forbidden actions he especially likes to try in the evening.

8:00-10:00: Christian goes to bed. Eliza kicks up her fussiness a notch. I’m unable to soothe her and A.J. takes about 30-45 minutes getting her to sleep (seriously, this happens almost every evening). By the time she’s finally asleep, we’re about ready for bed too. We finish any cleaning up that needs to be done and get ready to start all over the next day!

Whew… As you can see, it is crazy around here right now. The most challenging part for me is balancing enjoying my children and getting necessary tasks done. If I’m super task-focused, I’m stressed all day because I can never finish anything I start without being interrupted. But it’s not good for my family either for me to lounge around every day doing nothing but hanging out with them.

I have to keep the house running somewhat smoothly and give them plenty of quality time as well. I need a lot of grace to breathe and enjoy my sweet baby while I’m holding her, without focusing on everything that needs to get done… and then to do what needs to get done when it’s time, without getting frustrated that I can’t sit on the couch staring into Eliza’s eyes every minute of the day.

I think I should end this now! Happy Friday, everyone!