Becoming a Second-Time Mom
Thunder is rumbling faintly overhead. I’m crashing from the sugar high following three glasses of lemonade (bad idea). I brought today’s original to-do list down to more manageable proportions based on my fatigue, and I asked A.J. to pick up pizza on his way home.
The rest of the afternoon = finishing laundry, making the bed (instead of washing the sheets), putting away clean dishes, and heading to the library, if the weather cooperates. Oh, and working in 40 minutes of pilates somewhere along the way.
I love that Christian’s naptimes are my free time, and with each one that I enjoy now I’m beginning to think about the nonstop roller coaster ride it’s going to be with two little ones to care for.
We wanted to have two babies close in age, but I know the initial season is going to be especially difficult. These fears plague me the most:
1) Surviving sleep deprivation. I can’t nap during the day, and I didn’t when Christian was a newborn, but I did coast through on autopilot. I could read, watch Gilmore Girls, or zone out while I was feeding him. I didn’t have to worry about preparing meals for anyone but myself, or changing two sets of diapers.
I hung a quilt over Christian’s window that day to see if he would sleep better… instead, he pulled it down. I should’ve seen that one coming.
2) Caring for Christian. How am I going to keep such a young toddler happy and be consistent with his training while a) exhausted and b) nursing? I still want to take him outside, play with him, read to him, and discipline him as needed. I want to be creative in helping him learn and grow. Can I be a good mom to him while caring for a newborn too?
3) Getting things done. I’ll happily sacrifice my to-do list and deep cleaning for awhile, but not balanced meals, clean clothing, a reasonably tidy home, and basic self-care. My family’s health and happiness depend on having good food and clean clothes. And I won’t live in a mess in my pajamas, because I’m a better mom and less prone to depression when I’m put together, eat well, and exercise. Yet there’s a nagging fear that somehow I’ll fail in all of these areas while mothering a newborn and a toddler.
Self-portrait in the car… classy.
I realize the newborn days pass so quickly, but it’s tempting to want to skip over their unpredictability and head straight to the routine of knowing what to expect when. I am encouraged remembering how much newborns really do sleep, and knowing that I have a Moby Wrap this time, which I hope will help tremendously.
I’ve enjoyed reading Thoughts and Whatnots and lowercase letters even more since being pregnant, because both LeAnna and Carissa have two littles under the age of two. I know a lot of other moms have been where I’m going to be!
What are your survival tips, encouragements, and dire warnings for a second-time mom? 
oh i know these concerns! my best advice is not advice, it’s just encouragement… things will fall into place. they really will. once baby is with you, you will find your routines and what works and realize it’s all good. of course there will be hard days and situations, but those too will come and go, and the day to day will just work out.
i’m facing this too right now! with an 8 year old, 7 year old, three year old twins and then baby moses who will be just under two when new baby is born… it’s a whirlwind, but it’s so worth it. God put it in us… we are so capable to be mamas of these little ones… things work out.
First of all, you will be just fine, and do great. That doesn’t mean that you’ll have it all together, or you and your house will be taken care of, it just means that you WILL get all those important things done most days, and there’s always tomorrow. For the most part, you just put one foot in front of the other… You’ll be SO glad they’re so close together later on, I can certainly attest to that. 
Do not fret about these things in advance! There’s no need to do that to yourself-you’ll do just fine, and you can do all things through Christ, who strengthens you.
My Mom had 3 under 3! My younger sister and the youngest were born only 11 months apart! I hear funny and encouraging stories from my Mom about her experience.
Proud of her now! And I appreciate everything.
Your kids will be proud of you!
Blessings, Anna!
I’m looking forward to seeing how you balance rwovlittle ones, Anna, because we want our kids close together too ( Lord willing)!
At times it is hard, others it is easier. Like someone said above, you just take it one day at a time. I used to let Ty sit with me while I nursed Troy and we sang or read or whatever (because face it, the baby isn’t paying much attention to you anyway at this point. He’s got what he wants. 
lol) Lots of prayer. And don’t be too hard on yourself. Even if you have it together some of the time, there are going to be days when it just doesn’t happen. And that’s okay.
My dear Anna, I just happened to visit your blog today (after many moons with terrible internet connections), and I’m SO blessed to hear that the Moby Wrap is easing your mind a little about caring for your new arrival! I’m giddy thinking about you mothering two precious children – living vicariously through you (as, I admit, I do fairly often ) with your growing family. Will keep checking in on you now that I am able to, can’t wait to see lots of pictures…!
Hugs,
Stephanie
Like the other mommies said, it *will* fall into place. But yikes, the first 4-6 (or 
weeks will be tough, especially with the sleep deprivation. No one told me until after Becca was born that having two kids is not twice the work; it’s TEN times the work! You learn to lower your expectations and switch priorities. Will your dishes get depressed if they sit in the sink overnight? No. PEOPLE come first. Involve Christian as much as possible, even if it’s just holding the burp rag while you nurse or holding the clean diaper while you wipe. It’ll be tough at first but you’ll do great. And if you don’t feel like you’re going to make it, come find me.
My mom had 3 under 3 all in diapers at one time. Come talk to her Annndddd thats when you call *awesome* friends from church to come over and help! 
*wink wink*
I don’t have any little people right now, but I do know that God gives more grace in times of need. Praying for you that you’ll find that grace and strength, because I know that you’ll continue to be a great mommy!
Oh, girl.. I don’t know how I survived those first few months…Wait, yes I do. One day at a time, with Christ who strengthens me. It sounds so cliche, but you know that old saying… “How do you eat an elephant?” and the answer is one bite at a time. The older toddler learns to wait his turn when Mommy is feeding the baby and the 2nd born seems to learn how to entertain themselves earlier, because we can’t drop everything at their every cry. It’s truly a state of ebb and flow. There are moments of chaos, when you want to throw both hands in the air (but, eh, you can’t because you’re probably holding one child or the other…ha) but it all works itself out. You find a new routine, things, no matter how disorganized, somehow learn to flow together until they are organized…
I can tell you that I’m tired, all the time, but you adjust…and find yourself thanking God that He blessed you with this season of life while you’re young and vigorous.
You can do it, Mama!