What Perfection REALLY Is
Do you ever feel out of control in a particular area of life?
I’ve been struggling with that feeling in my home.
The dishes get washed, the laundry gets folded, meals are planned and prepared, and the bed is made. But you know the drill – what about moving beyond the basics? What about projects and decluttering? Anyone relate?
A few factors contribute to my being overwhelmed:
- an active 15-month-old
- a recurrent health issue (written about here)
- oh, and a little thing called pregnancy
.
I’m Anna, and I’m a perfectionist.
What bothers me most isn’t the sickness – it’s my lack of perfection. I desire to have a perfectly tidy, decluttered home. And I turn that desire into an idol when I am anxious about how I will get everything done, or envious as I read Facebook and blogs about others who are making their homes beautiful.
Laziness is different. I know when I’m being lazy. But the discouragement that’s been following me is that I want to do so much, yet my health right now prevents me from being a perfectionist.
Cleanliness is good. Productivity is good. But I am human. I have God-given limitations. If God sends me an illness, that might mean I can’t do everything I want to.
What’s worth crying about?
I’m glad I was led to read the post Teach Your Daughters Wailing this week. It reminded me that the very problem of having too much stuff and not enough space is unknown to millions. While I’m having a pity party because I feel overwhelmed, people are grieving the loss of a loved one; Haitian women are being victimized*; poverty kills 24,000 children a day; and 340 million people do not have a Bible translation in their language.
In that post, author Ann Dunagan wrote:
“Our family doesn’t care for crying around the house — unless we have something to really cry about. The other day, our competitive 10-year-old started whining-and-crying about losing a game of Monopoly, which resulted in an instant lecture from me about how crying is for real-stuff — like when someone is dying, or a kid is starving, or when we need to repent.”
Long before my to-do list…
This past Sunday, our pastor preached an encouraging Mother’s Day message. (If you would like the link, feel free to email me.) One point struck me the most: before I focus on my to-do list, I need to focus on what Christ has already done on my behalf!
If I think my #1 problem is clutter
and my solution is productivity…
I’m forgetting that my real problem is sin
and my solution is my Savior and his death on the cross!
In another recent message, our pastor reminded us that God does not just wipe our slate clean because of Christ’s death – but He applies Christ’s righteousness to us, so every day we can rest in the ongoing perfection of who we are in Jesus. As we strive to obey Him, we must know it is not our obedience that makes us worthy in His sight. Instead of living in guilt, we can be free! Not living in slavery! Not bound by rules and to-do lists… but knowing that Jesus has done it all!
Freedom
Isn’t that the most amazing truth? I know that some of you are dealing with illness or injuries, some very serious. What is it like for you to lay down the idea of control and find freedom in the gospel?
*not for young readers
photos: 1 2 3 4 5
Bless you sweet mommy!!! This time and season with little ones is not a time for perfection, but just abiding with Jesus by the power of His precious Holy Spirit. Contentment and simplicity is a key, as you seek His divine balance for each day as you lay His foundations for your family!!! & Thanks for the trackback to my daughter/wailing article !!
Ah, amen. Boy, do I hear you with all this stuff. I actually blogged a post with some similar points in it today. It’s so hard to let go of that control. God is so good to us!
Absolutely beautiful post! What a fabulous reminder when the frustration of our lives seems to become too overwhelming. I know all about that! Since starting work, I don’t even know how to keep up with the dishes or the laundry even. Thank you so much for writing this… And you’re not alone!
Oh my, I can relate! I’m a perfectionist too, especially about clutter around the house, but unfortunately there’s not much i can do about clutter right now, until I’m off these crutches. Thank you for helping me focus on what’s really important! I’ve been having to fight the tendency to have a pity party right now, and it’s not right.
I struggle with chronic pain daily (mostly in my lower back) and also severe fatigue. I have so much I want to do and yet my pain and lack of energy doesn’t allow me to do certain things anymore, which is very frustrating. I have been struggling to accept this new way of life and know that I need to let go and let God guide me through this. But sometimes that is easier said than done.
I need to work on my OCD, perfection tendencies. I’m getting better.
Hi Anna!
Your husband told me about your blog this Sunday at church. I hope you are feeling better.
This post was a great reminder for me. When I was pregnant with our 6th baby I herniated a disc in my lower back. I struggled for months not being able to do all I wanted to do. It was during that time that I grew more in my walk with the Lord than any other time in my life. I learned that it was never me, it was always Him.
I wish I would have realized this years earlier as it would have saved me many struggles, but it is all in God’s timing.
We’ll have to get together this summer.
Toni
Mmm…such a good, needed word for me today. My husband and I currently live in a very small 1 room/1 bath dorm, with a baby on the way in the fall. We’re looking at the possibility of living here another year–and perfectionism and materialism will have to go out the door. 
Simple and not-always tidy will probably be something I face…but there’s grace for that. Like you so eloquently shared, there are so MUCH greater things I could cry about, and MUCH more I should be thankful for.
Very encouraging and needed. Thanks roomie. :]
Amen, Anna! Great post! Celebrating Christ’s righteousness and grace for each new day!