Rebuilding
In the early days of pregnancy, I feel like a different person.
It’s hard for me to remember what life was like a mere three weeks earlier, before I started feeling sick all the time.
The elusive “before pregnancy” days tease me mentally as I lie on the couch, remembering melodramatically how I “used to” pack A.J.’s lunch every day and keep a clean house.
But the change lies in more than daily tasks. I feel of touch with people. I don’t blog. I don’t read. (Whispering…) I skip my devotions for weeks.
How do I remain confident of His love when I’m slipping?
Thirteen weeks in, I’m feeling exhausted, but otherwise a lot like my old self. I know I have to rebuild… on a foundation of grace.
Don’t forget that you are working very hard right now growing a sweet little one inside and caring for Christian and AJ as well as possible. I hope you feel much better soon. (And just keep looking for little moments for worship or a thought of thanks throughout the day.)
Thanks, Mamma! <3
Do I ever know what you mean! I’m 28 weeks now and I still feel nauseated at times, not to mention fatigued and moody.
I definitely agree with Eva, small moments of worship and thanksgiving are a must during times like that.
I hope you get to feeling more like your normal self soon! 
Fatigue? Moodiness? I can’t imagine what you mean! lol
I’m sorry you’re still sick. That third trimester is just as hard or harder than the first!
I was thinking about you earlier today!
I hope you feel better and continue to gain strength.
Rebecca
Thanks for thinking of me.
I’m 5 weeks in and have a 21 month old and I’m waiting for the nausea to hit. I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks several months ago and was nauseous all the time, so I am sure it’s coming. Sometimes it makes it so hard to even read…like it makes you even more sick! I have the Max McLean Listener’s Bible (ESV) and it’s really helpful to be able to relax and let the word soak in. You can also listen on esv.org and if you have an account, you have different listen options and one is his. I really like him because he keeps my attention and reads the word so powerfully. Hope this helps. Other than that…citrus was golden for me! A little homemade lemonade with some agave or just lemon/lime water. These days are so hard, but also a sweet reminder that there is a little growing baby in there. If it wasn’t for the nausea, we wouldn’t be able to tell .
Congratulations on your pregnancy, Melissa, and I’m sorry about the loss you experienced. I hope that you will feel the Lord’s peace as you go through the first trimester this time. And I hope you’re not too sick!
Thanks so much for mentioning listening to the Bible. I actually did this a few weeks ago when I was at my sickest, and it helped so much. You’re right, it is a lot easier to listen to something when you’re nauseated than it is to read.
I think I overwhelmed myself by subscribing via RSS, so I stopped listening, but I need to commit again!
Right there with you…this morning I managed to make coffee and get breakfast but couldn’t pack Justin’s lunch because smelling food made me sick to my stomach…I can’t wait for the 2nd trimester when I feel human again!
Aww, you’re a trooper just to do coffee and breakfast! I hope your first trimester goes quickly for you! I felt a lot less sick this time, and it’s gone much more quickly because I’ve been so busy with Christian. I hope it’s that way for you too!
I hope you feel much better as you get into your second trimester.
When I was pregnant, we moved, and the smell of the cardboard boxes we were packing our stuff in nauseated me!!!! Normally I would not even notice cardboard having a scent, but with my sense of smell heightened during pregnancy, I could notice smells that I never could before. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t have the energy to do everything you want to do right now. You are growing God’s gift of a new human life inside of you right now and that is exhausting work!! Hang in there, things will get better!!
I’ve been thinking about you a lot, sweet lady. Glad you’re starting to feel more like yourself, and I loved your thoughts on building back on a foundation of grace. I’m there, daily it seems.
Anna, of course God wants you to commune with Him but, His love is steadfast no matter what our circumstances/modes/affections. You can’t gain any more or any less approval due to your devotion because your approval is Christ’s merit.
In Christ you are simultaneously sinful and lost, yet accepted in Christ. You are so bad that he had to die for you and yet so loved that Christ was glad to die for you. These are thoughts that I meditate on often from Tim Keller’s book Gospel in Life because I’m so wayward in my affections for Christ. Look to Christ the author and perfecter of our faith.
I will be praying that you have comfort during your sickness and that you will feel better quickly. So excited for your little bitty!
I love this, Marcie. Thank you for speaking truth and the gospel into my life!
I’ve never been pregnant, but I can relate to you dearest on a level- just by feeling tired spiritually/mentally. I pray God will give you the strength to get through!
I just want to encourage you to no matter what, choose the good part, and seek Him first. When we don’t renew our minds and put God’s word into our hearts, nothing good comes out of it.
I’ve been reading the book of 1 John is it is so encouraging and pushes me to get in the Lord’s word everyday!!
I know the Lord will get you through!!
I’m sorry that you’ve had such a rough first trimester, Anna. I hope you continue to feel better!
I wish I could give you a hand right now, I know the first few months are hard…
Giving you a big hugs and praying that you will feel normal-ish soon