Beautiful Monday + Links

 
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Something happens to me when I’m pregnant.

Other than the throwing up, sudden compulsion to be a couch potato, and the joy of growing a brand-new little person…

I forget how to blog.

Seriously, my first pregnancy? I blogged about ten times total. My excuse reason was that I was sick for the first 16-20 weeks.

And this time? Well, I’m more sickly than sick. So I should be able to blog, right?

I’m having difficulties. My right Shift key is broken, thanks to leaving my keyboard within reach of little curious fingers for about 10 seconds. So now I am using my right Shift key. And it’s much harder than you might think to switch. (Seriously, try it. It’s annoying, especially when you’re typing a question mark.)

I had nothing to say tonight, as usual, but I was determined not to be silent for another day. So it’s sort of a weakly-explain-my-absence, and give-you-a-few-awesome-links post. (These posts made me want to blog again, though I couldn’t think of anything to say.)

Amy (I just love her and her blog; I’ve been reading there for probably almost four years) is writing an amazing series about the birth of her second child. It’s not your typical birth story. So far she’s written Prelude, A Doula Provided, Waiting, and Finally, Labor Begins.

If you’ve ever experienced a kitchen disaster you will laugh like I did at this post by my friend Cheyenne: A Lesson in Home-making.

Rebecca shared a heartbreaking story about her work with kids in ::falling apart at the seams day::. I really admire her ministry and her heart.

I love most things Kat writes, and her post today, Is God Safe?, was one of those especially meaningful ones for me.

I’m afraid that’s all for tonight. I’ve been reading your blogs but I’ve been a terrible commenter. Here’s hoping my blogging brain becomes refreshed and inspired!

Small Beginnings: 9 Weeks

I’m still here, friends.

Thank you, thank you for all your sweet congratulations regarding my pregnancy announcement. Your words warmed my heart!

As I sit here sorting a gigantic pile of overdue laundry, I’ll compile my first pregnancy update. I even took a terrible picture with my cell phone:

I have a little bump already! I noticed it a couple weeks ago. It took me forever to really show last time. We got maternity pictures taken at 34 (or 35?) weeks, and this was my bump:

I’ll be interested to see if I get bigger this time (but I’m fine with being small too!).

So last Tuesday was our long-awaited first appointment. A.J. was able to go with me this time, which I was so happy about. I had almost no anxiety in the early stages of my pregnancy with Christian (probably because I was too busy trying not to throw up), but with this one I’ve found myself worrying a little more. It was a beautiful thing to see that tiny person and steady heartbeat on the monitor (169 bpm).

Christian will be almost 21 months old when Baby 2 comes along… so I’m going to have 2 under 2! I’m a little nervous, but very excited. We were hoping to be blessed with the first two close together. It will be so fun to see them bond!

Thankfully, I haven’t been as sick as last time. For those of you who weren’t around then, I felt terrible. (That pretty much sums it up.) I was on anti-nausea meds to keep me from throwing up to the point of dehydration (but I still ended up in the hospital twice for an IV).

I almost got to that point a couple weeks ago, but since then the nausea has been more manageable (along with meds). My sinuses are causing me almost as much trouble as this pregnancy is!

Mostly I’m experiencing exhaustion. I’m sure that has something to do with the fact that I’m chasing around – and still nursing – my voracious 12-month-old. Oh, and I have so many aversions, far more than cravings. So many things sound disgusting to me it’s hard to find something good to eat.

My house has kind of fallen apart the past few weeks. I’ve fed my husband frozen pizza and Lean Cuisine. I haven’t exercised, and I have yet to fold laundry from four (or was it five?) days ago.

But I sense the nausea lifting a little, and I’m hoping the exhaustion will soon follow suit. It’s time to reclaim a little of the ordinary around here!

Thank you all for sticking around through this lengthy entry. I have a book review coming up this week, and hopefully a couple other posts as well.

Also, I wanted to congratulate my sweet friend Callie on the birth of her baby boy, Wyatt Daniel! Her most recent post is his birth story. I love birth stories, especially detailed ones, so I loved reading hers.

With impeccable timing, my little one has arisen from his slumbers, so I’m going to get him. Happy Tuesday, all! (I know that’s a lame way to end, but I can’t think of anything else.)

And Baby Makes Four

This little guy…

is going to be a big brother.

I’m 8 weeks along and due September 27.

We saw the heartbeat today. We’re very excited about our little blessing!

Happy Day of Love

I’m not one to post kissing pictures… but today is an exception.

I’m also not one to write much about my marriage, because I have a lot to learn and because it’s such a close and in many ways private relationship.

And I have to admit a pet peeve: writing online (*cough* Facebook *cough*) about everything sweet your husband says or does, every time he buys you flowers, takes you out on a date, etc. There’s a fine line between praising and bragging… just my opinion!

But it’s Valentine’s Day, so I’m breaking my own “rules” to write about my valentine (and I’m not forgetting about my cute baby valentine, but he got his own post last week).

Oops, another kissing picture! *Ahem*…

Although I have wasted much time and energy trying to conform my husband into The Ideal Husband of my imagination, the truth is that he is such a gift to me, and I often fail to appreciate him.

Here are ten of them (I’m going to keep them general; I think that is the best way to thank him without playing the comparison game):

1. He is the spiritual leader of our home.
2. He has higher standards than I do in a lot of areas.
3. He works hard to provide for Christian and me, which allows me to be a stay-at-home mom.
4. He prioritizes time with us.
5. He is disciplined in his habits (more than I am!).
6. He’s friendly, loves to be around people, and really cares about them.
7. He loves sharing the gospel and does it often.
8. He brings me out of my shell.
9. He’s a great dad who really loves his son.
10. And perhaps the most powerful factor of our marriage – he is quick to forgive unconditionally.

I love you, honey (and I’m sorry if this embarrassed you, hehe)! Happy Valentine’s Day!

Weekend Links: The Long Edition

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Happy Saturday! It’s been a couple weeks since I posted links, so I decided to offer you ten clicks instead of five this week. And no, I can’t stop staring at that picture.

• Creative Ideas for Household Notebooks :: Life as Mom
• You Are What You Tweet :: (in)courage
• A Hidden Heart :: All She Has to Say
• Wintertime Boost: Citrus Salad :: Vintage Chica
• Why THEIR Methods Won’t Work for YOU :: Motherhood Your Way
• The Best {Natural} Valentine to Give Your Husband :: Passionate Homemaking
• home and here :: Heart and Home
• Incarnation and Remembering :: Lavender *Sparkles*
• “Delicious blend of colors.” :: Simply Vintagegirl
• Valentine’s Day Diner Dinner :: Dear Baby

“In the winter, I drew her tossing snowballs at the trees that lined the wide parkway, her arm motions like those of a little girl. Often we ran through the drifts together, kicking up the snow with our galoshes, and I drew that too.” -Chaim Potok

Darling baby, I can’t believe you’re one.

Has it been a year already?

I put you down for a nap a few minutes ago, and you sucked your thumb and looked up at me with those bright eyes.

I remembered the first time I held you. What I noticed more than anything were your eyes, clear dark almonds, gazing widely back at me.

When we brought you home from the hospital, you took a nap in your pack ‘n’ play, and I rested in bed nearby, but I couldn’t sleep. It sounds silly, but I felt like I was going to miss something, and I didn’t want to miss a moment.

I haven’t taken enough pictures of you, or enough videos.

But I’ll never forget this precious first year of your life.

Being your mama is one of the greatest privileges I could have asked for. I don’t deserve it. I pray to be made worthy of it.

I know the times that are coming in your sweet, mischievous little life will try my patience and self-control more than any time in the past year could have.

But more than anything, I want to show you the love and grace of Jesus. Because I am in desperate need of it myself.

I can’t wait to see who you’ll become. Watching you grow is a joy, and so is seeing you learn. We’ve celebrated every little milestone you’ve reached this year.

You’re walking eight to ten steps at a time now, so you’ll probably be taking off any day. You can say some words – “Oh, wow” is my favorite. You constantly gasp in awe and delight over seemingly trivial things.

It’s so much fun spending every day with you.

We had a party for you on Saturday, and you ate your entire “smash cake” – an extra-large chocolate cupcake. I hesitate to admit this, but it’s true. I didn’t know you would eat the whole thing and I wasn’t sure if I should stop you or not! You’re still alive and well today. I think you like chocolate.

You’re the little sunshine of our family. Sometimes after you’ve been in bed for awhile in the evening, your daddy and I will be talking with fondness of all of your cute and sweet attributes, and one of us will say, “Let’s go get him up!” (We’re too smart to follow through, though.)

I can’t wait to spend your second year with you. Happy birthday, baby boy!

Sunrise and Sunflowers.

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[A simple “thank you” doesn’t seem like enough for the outpouring of encouragement and prayers I received in response to my last post. The body of Christ is a beautiful thing, including in the online sphere.]

When you’re in the pit it’s hard to climb out – whether it’s a pit of anxiety, depression, self-pity, anger, bitterness, or drought.

Sin is immensely powerful. Sometimes I feel like I’m trapped in it completely.

“But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” (1 Cor. 15:57)

He died so I can be forgiven, my sins atoned for – so like the prodigal son, no, as the prodigal daughter, I may know His compassion, embrace, and celebration.

Trust, I find, means believing in Jesus that He can and will save me from my sins, just like He promised. I make it very difficult for myself, seeking out the warnings in the Bible and thinking the promises won’t apply to me. But they aren’t just promises – they’re commands. He commands me to repent, believe the gospel, and bear fruit in keeping with repentance. And He promises that if I come to Him, He will receive me.

Peace!

Dear Blog,

To write or not to write… I’m afraid I may sound emo.

Truth be told, it’s been a rough week.

I’ve never experienced such drawn-out health issues in my life. The concussion I wrote about a few months ago cleared up a few weeks later, and almost immediately afterward I got a sinus infection that lasted 13 weeks. Both conditions included chronic neck pain.

My infection cleared up for a couple weeks in January. Then I got a cold and it’s been back in full force for a week, pain and all.

Honestly, I am in discouraged in many ways.

I know people who deal with chronic pain and disease much worse than this. And I think they must have greater faith than me. And not be wimps like I am.

During the two weeks I was healthy, I jumped on top of my household routines and everything ran smoothly. I had energy for Christian.

Now it is a struggle again.

I love love love being a stay-at-home mom. I’ve never even desired to work outside the home. But this past week I’ve caught myself imagining it a few times… having some structure, sitting down at a desk with a cup of coffee and working on a project… another life always sounds appealing when our circumstances are difficult.

I just don’t understand why I’ve had these health issues in the first year of being a mom. I want to be a good mom. I’ve yearned for this all my life. I don’t want to survive each day, but to thrive. Yet I feel like I’m surviving.

And I feel like I am going to get behind if I’m not constantly reevaluating Christian’s growth and development week by week, reminding myself of what he’s capable of, making sure I teach him to read at 2.5 years old…

I’m not taking enough pictures…
The office is a mess…
I haven’t made his baby book yet…
I’m not cut out for this job.

The mommy guilt is constant and intense. The desire to excel is constant and intense, but when will I ever feel like myself?

There’s more underneath the surface that I don’t feel comfortable sharing, but this is why I haven’t blogged this week.

To anyone who’s emailed or contacted me in some way, I’ve been slacking on getting back to you and I hope I can soon!

I’ve been enjoying reading your blogs, friends, and am dearly encouraged by so many of you – your devotion to the Lord as a single woman or a wife or mom.

Here’s a song that encouraged me yesterday: