My Motives, My Heart
Photo by autan
The older I grow in my baby Christian walk, the more I see how deceitful my heart and motives are! The more I see that a particular action is motivated by self-love and pride and selfish ambition instead of a desire to see Christ glorified and lives changed for Him. The more I see that a certain fear is driven by idolatrous concern for what others think. The more I understand that my heart cannot be trusted; it always wants to make excuses for itself and its sin. The more I see that the only redemption from all of this is in the precious blood of Christ, and the only help for me is in the power of the Holy Spirit who dwells within me.
Fun fact: This entry has been in my drafts folder for over a year and a half. It was originally written in March 2009. 
No kidding. I feel the same way which makes me melancholy about my spiritual life – “How does ANYONE with a spiritual bone in their body fight the same battles I do?” But, then it’s a sin to be melancholy, too! Praise God for grace! Last night, I was reading in I Peter and the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart about fighting the devil and how other Christians do it, too. I’m not the only one fighting sin. Then, I had sweet peace.
It’s so true! Thank you for sharing!!!
I think that we ALL struggle with what others think…it’s such a distraction from glorifying God as we should.
Anna, have you heard “Holy One” by Rush of Fools? I love this song – it expresses so well our total need of Jesus, the worship that results from running to Him for cleansing.
Thank you for always being so honest Anna. This phrase “The more I see that a certain fear is driven by idolatrous concern for what others think.” really jumped out at me because I have been experiencing the same thing. I want to finish nursing school because what on earth would people think if I dropped out or if I even failed out? But that fear has…gotten in the way of my Savior. It is most definitely not us in anything that we do! I am so thankful for that! We serve an awesome God! Praying for you
Ps: Thank you for your last post as well. I read it this morning and WOW did the Lord prick my heart!