Why I Keep My Home
Welcome back to my series on homemaking. Be sure to read part 1, A Time for Intentional Homemaking. Each Wednesday I’ll be exploring what God’s Word has to say to me on the topic of managing my time as a wife and mother.
How did it get to be 11:00 already? I’m still in my p.j.’s and I haven’t done the breakfast dishes yet. Christian had a blowout diaper in his bed… and then he wet his pack ‘n’ play. The laundry needs to be switched to the dryer. My coffee is still in the coffee maker, waiting to be drunk. Christian’s first nap was only 40 minutes long. I haven’t touched my to-do list for the day.
No, that scenario isn’t what happened this morning… but the reality has often been similar.
Life happens. Circumstances interfere with my homemaking plans. And when my plans get changed, my heart is revealed. What is my motive? What is my goal? Why do I make a home-keeping plan to begin with?
It could be a personality thing, after all. I am “type-A.” So my only motivation in keeping an orderly home could be a desire for my own peace of mind.
I could be acting from pride - knowing that my home is cleaner than so-and-so’s, and wanting to feel good about myself.
Or I could be acting as a people-pleaser - serving man and not God, wanting the reward of human approval, whether it be my husband’s or someone else’s.
If I’m motivated by personality, pride, or people-pleasing, the stress of imperfection will overcome me. I’ll end up frustrated and anxious.
The Word of God shows me how my heart should look instead:
“…Not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” (Colossians 3:22-24)
If I am serving the Lord as a homemaker, I will submit my personality preferences to His will. I will not worry when my plan gets changed, because I’m not serving myself. I’m serving Him.
I will serve in humility. I will not trumpet my accomplishments to myself or anyone else. I’m only doing my duty, enabled by His grace.
And I will serve to please Him alone. If I love Him as I should, this will fully satisfy me.
What a heart revolution. How do you keep your heart focused on Christ as you serve in your daily routine, at home or elsewhere?
Wow, LeAnna… you are such an encouragement. Will you write a post on this? 
I’d love to write a post on that. If for nothing else, to remind myself of the truth of it for the thousandth time. 
I used to totally fall into the “man-pleasing” category. I would work hard all day, and if my hubby didn’t come home and compliment me on my shiny kitchen sink, freshly mopped floors, and a hot dinner on the table, I felt it was all for not. “He didn’t appreciate it”, I’d tell my self. Oh, how my focus was SO WRONG!
It wasn’t until my focus changed, did I ever find any real joy in being a homemaker. It was like Solomon in Ecclesiastes 2. I would look at all my work, and even though a tidy home would give me a little (prideful) joy, it was fleeting.
Praise God that He is so forgiving of our failures. When I slip back into the “man-pleasing” mode, He is gently reminding me of the truth I know.
I totally did that last night, Tamara. Then I reminded myself of this post (which I had already written and scheduled). Thank you for sharing this. Isn’t it crazy how mopping a floor can reveal what’s really going on in our hearts – i.e. what our idols are?
Oh wow, this post was amazing! This truly hit home for me. I used to REALLY struggle with OCD and would FREAK out at my family if the kitchen got “messy.” And messy in my head was ONE noodle left on the counter. I truly struggled. I took perfection to a special level and it caused my whole family stress. In fact relationships with my friends suffered since I held everyone to my impossible standard. (This was before I got married.) Out of control I moved and got a job in Istanbul, Turkey. It changed my life. All this to say I was doing NOTHING for the Lord, it was all about myself. All about me. Now, a clean house blesses my husband and guests/Angels that stop by.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who struggles with finding the happy medium between clean and chaos. A chaotic home is hard to relax in – but so is a house you can’t touch because you’re afraid of messing it up. I so need to learn this now, before Christian starts rampaging through the house. I loved your conclusion.
Wow, Anna…what a timely post! I’m working on a home management notebook and daily to-do lists. Yesterday I got about half done from each- but a lot done that wasn’t on the lists. I just have to keep reminding myself that as long as the most important things were done (Charlotte cared for, time with God, worked on my school as much as possible, dinner made, and the animals are still alive), that it was a good day. I’ve started listening to Revive Our Hearts podcasts during mandatory sitting times (for me that is feeding Charlotte and pumping), and it has done much to help with my perspective. I am really enjoying your blog, my friend!
Hi Teresa! I really like your list of priorities. It is so important to put those first. I’ve been loving the Revive Our Hearts quotes you share in the Reverencing Our Husbands group. Thanks for your comment, and I’d love to see your notebook. Mine’s super simple (especially because I can’t print anything) but SO helpful.
Ha!!! Mine is super simple too for the same reason! We need ink for our printer (especially for school for me right now) but it is SO expensive! I loved the links you shared a few posts ago for developing a home management notebook. Especially the one with the video – I loved some of the printouts she had. Such a work in progress!
That’s the same reason we can’t print.
“I will serve in humility. I will not trumpet my accomplishments to myself or anyone else. I’m only doing my duty, enabled by His grace.”
Anna,
First of all, I love what you write about serving in humility and not for public acclaim. I read a lot of mom blogs where it seems that is the focus (public acclaim) and so I really admire you for wanting to write these Wednesday posts but for our edification rather than so that we can all know what “Anna does.” This sets you apart in an awesome way…humility is a rare thing to find!
Anyways, some days are easier than others to keep my mind set on Christ. A few things I find helpful are locking myself in the bathroom for a few minutes if things are particularly crazy and just praying, putting on worship music which seems to put the kids and I in a better state of mind(I love Sovereign Grace music), scheduling regular playdates with other Christian moms who can encourage me, etc. Also, starting off the day reading the bible and praying is a must. My husband and I do this together every morning at breakfast before he goes to work.
Anyways, I’m loving your series!:)
Oh, and your post made me think of some lyrics from this song from Sovereign Grace music entitled “Surrender All”:
“Take all my cravings for vain recognition
Fleshly indulgence and worldly ambition
I want so much Lord to make You the focus
To serve You in secret and never be noticed”
Thanks for your comment, Susanna! I’m not humble… just honest, by God’s grace? I don’t have it all figured out as a homemaker, which is why I wanted to write this series… really, as an exercise for myself to apply Biblical principles in my homemaking… and discuss them with others who are also trying to figure it out. I am so encouraged by all of your responses. You give me a lot to look up to.
I really appreciate your tips. You know so much more than I do as a mom of 3! I can’t even imagine everything you have to balance.
I love this post. I need this spoken to my heart on almost a daily basis, since I intensely dislike cleaning, but also intensely dislike things being dirty, so basically I am never happy. But, I do need to remember to do it for the Lord. That being said, sometimes I get so frustrated by people who act like it’s ungodly to have a cleaning service. Someday, I shall have a cleaning service–while I can clean, there are so many other things that I do very well, and cleaning I do not do very well, so I think it’s reasonable to be openminded with regards to that. The proverbs 31 woman had servants, and she spent her time tending to other things in her household, clothing, vineyard, real estate, etc. Anyway, just a thought that I often feel gets treated as a sin for even considering. Thanks for these lovely thoughts today–I needed them, as right now I can’t justify a cleaning service.
You could actually help someone out by employing them to clean your house. One of the older women in our church works full-time, and she hires a younger woman to clean her house. They both win – one has time to work and not have to scrub her floors, and the other earns some extra income.
Great perspective – we should be focused on pleasing the Lord first, and I think that WOULD make it easier! Easier said than done, but this post is encouraging. The Lord can help us overcome those kind of attitudes, and that always gives me hope!
[...] back to my series on homemaking. (Catch up by reading part 1, part 2, and part [...]
[...] back to my series on homemaking. (Catch up by reading part 1, part 2, part 3, and part [...]
Love this! I use to get really uptight about not having my house in order (in my order!) and I know a lot of that stemmed from my Mom. While we were growing up, things had to be perfect. She’s relaxed a lot since then, but it really reminded me that just like we are the temple of the Holy Spirit, our homes are a dwelling place of God, too. We live our lives, and raise our children for His glory, why not keep our homes for it, too? Just like His grace in our lives, I think we can learn to accept His grace in our daily activities. Just like our spirits, we shouldn’t use that freedom as an excuse to become lazy spiritually, the same for our homes. But if we live not for ourselves, but for Him, we will do all things for His name, and if our hearts are humble before Him we might just be surprised at the unsurpassable spiritual blessing He gives in the quiet times of our day, just as in the chaos.