A Glimpse Into My Bookshelf
Back in the infant days of Hope Road, I had a “Currently Reading” page. I kept it updated with… as you might expect… everything I was reading at the time. 
I have always been, as my husband puts it, a “voracious reader.” I think I read an average of 100-200 books a year when I was growing up. During college, I of course read less for leisure and entertainment, and more for academic reasons.
During my engagement and first year of marriage, I was pretty undisciplined and unsystematic with my reading. But since Christian was born, I’ve been reading intentionally again. Having less time has actually led me to read more (and blog more!) - because I have to fit it into my spare moments instead of thinking, “Oh, I have plenty of time” and never doing it.
I get books from inter-library loan (love it!), and I plan out how many chapters I need to read every day in order to return the books on time. I’ve been reading 2-4 books simultaneously – 1 or 2 chapters a day in each. That may sound like a lot, but I read quickly, and I do it between chores and taking care of Christian. (One of my favorite things to do while he is napping is to read 2 pages, do a chore, read 2 pages, do a chore, etc. I used to do that kind of thing all the time when I was growing up. It breaks up the work. I know, I’m a dork.)
Whew, that turned into a really long-winded explanation. My point is that I don’t want to keep my blog updated with what I’m reading all the time, but I did want to give you a glimpse into the books I’m reading at the moment.
Susannah Spurgeon: Free Grace and Dying Love by Susannah Spurgeon
I mentioned this book in yesterday’s post. It is a collection of devotionals written by the wife of Charles Spurgeon, along with a brief biography of her life. Before my mom gave me this book, I had no idea Susannah had any published writings, but they are gems. They are humble, prayerful meditations on God and the gospel and Susannah’s religious struggles and triumphs. They have been such an encouragement to me. (This is my devotional reading right now.)
The Home at Greylock by Elizabeth Prentiss
This novel was written in the 19th century by the author of the ever-popular Stepping Heavenward. It is a thinly veiled treatise on child-rearing. I find it amusing to read that parents in the 1800s had the same problems as parents do today. Some of Mrs. Prentiss’s ideas were quaint, some were theologically suspect (e.g., children can be regenerated before they are born?), but many of them are encouraging and challenging. I have been inspired by her emphasis on the fact that parents must be living holy lives themselves if they want to train their children rightly.
In Trouble and in Joy: Four Women Who Lived for God by Sharon James
I love Sharon James’ biography of Ann Judson, and I recently finished her biography of Elizabeth Prentiss. This book is four biographies in one. She profiles Margaret Baxter (wife of Puritan minister Richard Baxter), Sarah Edwards (wife of another Puritan minister, the well-known Jonathan Edwards), Anne Steele (author of two volumes of hymns and poems), and Frances Ridley Havergal (writer of the hymn “Take My Life and Let It Be”). So far I have only read the section about Margaret Baxter. I like how Sharon James gives a clear portrait of the women she is writing about, including their admirable qualities and their failings. She gives interesting glimpses into the lives of women from the past.
Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild by Mary Kassian
I wrote about this book previously, based on excerpts I read online before it was released. Mary Kassian (professor of Women’s Studies at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary) provides a compelling look at the difference between being “wise” and “wild,” by contrasting God’s wisdom with the woman profiled in Proverbs 7. She really gets to the heart of the matter, pointing out sinful attitudes and behaviors that may characterize us whether we are publicly promiscuous or not. I was given this book as a review copy, and am going to post a full review when I finish it.
So there is a brief glimpse into the books I’m reading and enjoying now! What are you reading?
Freshly Brewed : 1,000 Gifts
A little Multitude Monday this morning… oh, wait, it’s early afternoon already.
22. A walk in the park this morning. It was refreshing. I haven’t gone in the morning for awhile. I forget how beautiful it is and how invigorating, going in the beginning of the day instead of later when I’m tired.
23. Christian sleeping through the night! The past two nights he’s gone from 10:30 to 7:00. I think I got almost 8 hours of sleep last night. I feel like a new person.
24. Christian’s beautiful crib, a gift to us from everyone in our small group at church. It will convert into a bed when he is older. The first night I put him in it, he slept 8.5 hours.
25. The book of Deuteronomy. It is full of reminders of God’s wrath, faithfulness, and mercy.
26. Congregational worship on Sunday mornings – the highlight of my week.
27. Saturday mornings with A.J. at Panera.
28. Colombian coffee, freshly brewed, the smell lingering throughout the house.
29. My washing machine and dryer, given to us for free after we got married. Two of our friends’ washing machines have broken over the past couple of weeks. I’m so thankful for the ease of doing laundry.
30. Ice cold water.
31. Susannah Spurgeon’s devotionals.
32. Our neighbors, who are from South Africa, work at the zoo, and have two adorable preschoolers. They’re so friendly and I’m glad they live next to us.
33. New blog readers. I love meeting you and reading your comments.
34. Air conditioning. I do live in Florida, after all.
Marriage on a Saturday Morning
A.J. and I arrived at Panera this morning to read This Momentary Marriage together. The ensuing conversation made me laugh, and I asked him if I could blog it:
A.J.: Are you looking forward to reading together?
Anna: Yes, but I feel bad because I was grumpy this morning.
A.J. (tongue-in-cheek): That’s okay. I like talking about your sin.
*pause*
A.J.: Why didn’t you brush your teeth before we left?
Just a glimpse into an everyday conversation! Ah, real life is so romantic…
When do you blog?
Let’s be all nerdy and talk blogging.
(Pardon the cigarette that woman is holding; I just liked her old-fashioned clothes. And the fact that she’s holding a laptop. Moving right along…)
Do you remember Amy, who wrote a guest post for me last week? She just posted a poignant article, Calling It Beautiful. This excerpt hit home with me:
“The time I spent at the computer is time I no longer have to complete today’s necessary tasks. Later this afternoon or evening, I’ll feel discouraged, frazzled, guilty or stressed because I don’t have time to finish my work. Inevitably, those emotions will tempt me to escape again.”
I’ve given thought to this before, for sure. Wasting time on the computer was especially tempting for me when I was a stay-at-home pregnant woman, working minimal part-time hours. But having a baby forced me into more of a schedule, and I really enjoy having less discretionary time. I’ve made it a point not to be on the computer while he’s awake.
But it’s easy to slip. I love blogging and writing and being part of an online community, and it can be so tempting to let that get in the way of more important things. “Just five minutes” here or there can mean neglected housework, or simply time that could have been better spent.
This doesn’t mean I think blogging is wrong – obviously! As I said, I love it. But I have to keep it in balance! I’ve been pondering the idea of some sort of online accountability for that – a badge of commitment to put on my blog, perhaps. Something along the lines of blogging responsibly – keep me accountable! – and a link to a post with my personal guidelines for the time I spend blogging. Then other bloggers could use that badge as well, linking to their own post (because your time constraints and goals will of course be different than mine).
It’s just an idea… what do you think? And, per the title of this post, I’m interested in knowing – when do you blog? I blog in moments I catch during the day. I read blogs while feeding Christian. And I like to schedule the posts I write for the next day. So let me know your bloggy routine!
Feeling like an aesthetic failure
Aesthetic: The study of art or beauty; That which appeals to the senses; Concerned with beauty, artistic impact, or appearance. (definition from wiktionary)
Being an “aesthetic failure” sounds at best vague and at worst trivial. As my husband might say, “What does that even mean?” (a favorite catchphrase).
It means I envy other people for their ability to integrate beauty artistically into their lives; specifically in two areas – the clothes they wear and the way their houses look.
I have never been a girly-girl in the sense that I love shopping and clothes. I like to look pretty and have nice things to wear, but I lacked the fashion sense, money, and desire to make the effort for a long time. Now I have the desire and, I like to think, a little more fashion sense, but I don’t exactly have piles of money sitting around to spend on updating my wardrobe.
I do not want to be a frumpy mom who doesn’t care about her appearance. I think that’s a legitimate desire. But I carry that desire out too far – envying other girls who have more time and money (and hair that’s easier to manage!).
Another area I have never been talented in is that of interior design. I was always all about making my living space functional and organized, without really emphasizing beauty. But now that I have a home of my own, I want to put in the effort. Again, that’s a legitimate desire. But I get frustrated because I don’t know how. I can’t just start from scratch, and it’s hard to integrate what I already have with how I want my home to look.
(Photo of Raechel’s home)
In church and home group this past week, we studied the topic of pride. I see a lot of pride in my envy of others’ homes and clothes. Because of my indwelling sin, desires that could be healthy are instead selfish, covetous, and greedy.
The good news is that my sin can be redeemed. I know the Lord can change me. I want to be able to enjoy what I already have, and to be content with the small progress I’m able to make. In the past I would just click away or close the magazine, not look at the pretty dress or the lovely living room because I couldn’t have them. But instead I hope to learn that I can admire creativity and tuck away ideas, without envying and feeling discontent.
And beyond the trivial world of appearances, lies a very big world that is very needy… people who are in need of a Savior most of all, and many people in need of the most basic necessities of life – water, food, health care.
100 years from now, neither they nor I will be thinking about interior decorating or fashion design. These small things are not eternal, as my husband reminded me: “A nice shirt means nothing in the grave.”
(Update: check out Callie’s blog post on contentment in a different area of life: Babies and Being Content.)
Church & Culture Femininity Homemaking Marriage Mothering Walking with the Lord 3 comments
Stepford wife… or Proverbs 31 woman?
“Do you feel like a Stepford wife?”
That’s the question Courtney from Women Living Well received when she talked about homemaking and husband-serving on a radio program.
She responded to the question in an encouraging vlog that I hope you’ll take the time to watch. It’s a good reminder that we stay-at-home wives and moms shouldn’t feel ashamed for what we’re doing, as if it’s somehow less valuable than what we could be doing.
(By posting this, I am not saying that the only way to be a true Proverbs 31 woman is to be a stay-at-home mom. I’m sure that’s not what Courtney means either. But it is very encouraging for those of us whom God has called to be at home for our families right now.)
The Simple Woman’s Daybook ~ 4.20.10
Outside my window…
it’s a crisp, beautiful spring morning. It’s been like this every single time I’ve filled out this survey!
I am thinking…
about my head hurting. Alas, I have a headache this beautiful morning. I think I am going to take some medicine. I have a low tolerance for headaches, and I get them frequently.
I am thankful for…
His mercies being new every morning. Since my sin is new every morning (discouraging thought), I am so thankful that the fountain of His mercies overflows every morning. Do any of you know this song? “Your mercy flows upon us like a river / Your mercy stands unshakeable and true / Most holy God, of all good things the giver / We turn and lift our fervent prayer to You”
From the kitchen…
Today is menu plan and shopping day, so I’m not sure what I’m going to make for dinner tonight. Last night we had chicken drumsticks (baked in the Crock Pot), brown rice, green beans, and whole wheat French bread – a dream meal for my husband. (I am learning to cook more to his preferences.)
I am wearing…
a dark purple shirt, tank top, and jeans.
I am creating…
a head of straight hair! I bought a flat iron last weekend, and I am going to attempt to straighten my hair. The last time I got it straightened, it was at a salon. My friends Sarah and Cheyenne (read their blogs!) took me for my 21st birthday. It took the stylist an hour to do it! But it turned out really well and lasted for a couple of days. So I am going to try it myself. I think it will take some practice.
I am going…
to cuddle Christian when he wakes up. He’s taking his first nap right now. He got two shots yesterday *sad face.* Last night after he woke up and ate, he thought it was time to play. He was smiling and talking while I changed his diaper. I try not to play with him in the middle of the night, so he learns that it’s sleepy time. (Plus I’m so exhausted I don’t have much energy to play anyway.) I laid him back in his bed and went to the kitchen to get a drink of water. I could hear him talking happily to himself from all the way down the hall, and I had earplugs in. It was hilarious. Thankfully, he is a very cooperative baby and just goes to sleep at night even when I lay him down wide awake.
I am reading…
I am down to the last book out of the four I was reading – A Quest for Godliness: The Puritan Vision of the Christian Life by J.I. Packer. I have several chapters left; the next one is about the Puritans and worship. It’s been a great read so far. In the Bible, I just started Deuteronomy, and I think I am going to study Psalm 130.
I am hoping…
that the day goes smoothly and I get everything done. We have a busy week this week.
I am hearing…
silence. I really appreciate the peace of a quiet home. I do enjoy having music on, and I like dancing to it with Christian *hehe.* But I love not having a TV. I think the longer you go without a TV, the less you want one. I can’t even imagine having the TV on for background noise all the time – it honestly depresses me!
Around the house…
I still need to do my morning straightening – putting last night’s dishes away, washing our cereal bowls from this morning, putting things away in the bathrooms, making the bed, etc.
One of my favorite things…
orange sherbet. That just came to me randomly. I haven’t had it for a long time. When I was about 4 or 5 months pregnant with Christian, my parents were visiting, and I was still feeling pretty sick. I was craving orange sherbet, and they went to Publix just to get it for me. I ate it for breakfast! It was delicious.
A few plans for the rest of the week…
Small group tonight and a wedding on Friday night, just to mention a couple.
A picture thought I am sharing…
I attempted to have a photo shoot with Christian. But he was more interested in eating his hands. This is the only picture where he wasn’t, but we both look very serious. Do you think he looks like me?
It’s the little things… and not-so-little : 1,000 Gifts
14. Forgiveness of my sins, especially from my Savior. And humanly speaking, from my husband. It brings peace.
15. Being almost finished with a 488-page biography of Abigail Adams. I think it’s the longest book I’ve read since college. I’ve been very anxious to be done with it; it feels like quite an accomplishment.
16. My “new” hand-me-down bike! I love bike rides and haven’t been able to enjoy them since I moved to Florida, leaving my old bike.
17. The object of my faith being Christ. The object of my faith is not myself, my good works, my repentance, or my feelings of sorrow for sin. My only confidence is in Christ’s perfect life and work on the cross. A sermon from John Piper was a blessed reminder of this.
18. Christian almost sleeping through the night. He sleeps one 5-hour stretch and one 3/4-hour stretch, which means I can get in a good 7 hours every night. So refreshing!
19. Time to enjoy my love for writing via blogging. I really enjoyed writing Saturday’s post.
20. The sound of A.J. and Christian talking to each other in the living room.
21. Our upcoming trip to Ohio to visit my family. I haven’t been there since January 2009. I can’t wait.
Suspended in the Sky
The wheels turn roughly on the gravelly runway. The engine roars with life as the immense plane gains momentum. Outside my tiny rectangular view of the world, buildings and trees zoom past. We are still safe on the ground, but not for long.
Adrenaline builds inside me, while the world outside the window blurs. Around me people are quiet, patient, and a little tense. The chatty ones talk on, oblivious of the unwritten rule – minimize talking during takeoff.
Then that ineffable moment, unimagined for thousands of years – the wheels leave the ground, the rattling becomes smooth, and the ground drops away beneath the plane. Sunshine breaks through the rows of windows. We’re floating in bright blue sky.
If only this was a moment I could enjoy. But instead of relishing the miracle of flight, I am afraid. I grip my armrest, listen anxiously to the engines, analyze every jolt.
Some moments are comforting. The pilot’s voice, scratchy over the intercom, announces that we are free to take our seatbelts off. The flight attendants begin the drink service. Everything is business as usual.
Some moments are beautiful. Passing through a few wispy clouds, we sail in a blue, sunlit ocean. Trapped in a huge metal tube in the sky, there is still a freeing feeling about being so far away from everything earthbound.
In spite of the transcendence, the business of flight is surprisingly mundane. The flight attendant waits for my drink selection, and I order ginger ale. Trips to the bathroom begin – children trotting back and forth, senior citizens ambling slowly down the aisle. A baby cries, a businessman taps away on his laptop, and the women behind me can’t stop laughing at a story one of them told.
Yes, flying can be comforting, beautiful, and even mundane… but I’m still fearful. Hovering thousands of feet above the ground, I feel suspended between life and death. Stories I’ve heard about plane crashes flood my mind. When the engine cycles to a quieter hum, I imagine it’s dying, and we will plummet to the ground. I breathe prayer - for safety, yes, but even more, for freedom from anxiety.
After seemingly endless minutes, the seatbelt light “dings” back on. I buckle myself in with a sigh of relief. I love landing. I know it’s more dangerous than the flight itself, but to me it signals the end of fear. We are almost back on solid ground!
My ears “pop” as the plane descends little by little and slows its speed. The flight attendants walk up and down the aisle, balancing their hands on the seats, checking for the “upright and locked position,” collecting leftover napkins and soda cans.
I stare out the window as the ground gets closer. The clouds are above us again. Tiny cars creep along snaky highways. As we near the runway, trees and buildings rush past, almost at eye level.
Then, the magical moment – with a jolt, the wheels reconnect with the ground. The plane bounces and air rushes through the vents as we whirl down the runway to a gradual stop. My heart’s pounding slows, and excitement floods me. We made it safely! “Thank You, Lord,” I pray inwardly.
Bustling again with life on the ground, the plane buzzes with talk and the snap-snap of overhead compartments being opened. I wait with unruffled patience to disembark, happy to feel safe again.
Someday, maybe I will fly without fear. But for now, perhaps flying is a little like a spiritual discipline for me. It is hard. It feels unnatural. Yet it is a channel to draw me closer to the Lord. I have to rely on Him and Him alone – not feelings of comfort and safety, not forgetfulness that I will someday die. Flying shows me just how vaporous my life is. So in that way, it is a gift for which I can be thankful.
My next day to fly? May 8, 2010.
