home for Christmas

You know that feeling you have when you’re getting over an illness? It’s kind of disorienting, like the world just wobbled on its axis. I have my little routine and plan for getting things done and getting ready for Christmas, and I was totally thrown off by being out of commission this weekend. (I know, wait till I have a newborn…)

So here I am on Tuesday morning, with laundry, grocery shopping, and cleaning to do and belated Christmas preparations to make. It’s really not that much; it just feels a little overwhelming since I’m still feeling kind of out of it.

I feel like Christmas sneaked up on me – suddenly it’s next week! This is my first Christmas away from home, although it is my first Christmas in my new home. We probably would have been in Ohio for Christmas this year if I wasn’t almost eight months pregnant… not the best time to travel.

I’m sort of teetering between two extremes right now. One part of me wants to jump into action, get things done, and enjoy the season in spite of still feeling off. The other part of me wants to wallow, “rest,” and feel sorry for myself because I’m tired of being alone right now.

…Which is why I’m writing this blog post, because I won’t be as tempted to wallow if I remember that people read this entry! What a great opportunity to focus on other people instead of on myself. Instead of seeking to make Christmas what I want it to be for me, I know the Lord wants me to serve Him and others.

Of all the gifts the Lord has given me this year, the greatest has been my husband. I love him so much. He was, as always, a huge blessing while I was sick, even when I asked him to go to the pharmacy at 6:30 on Sunday morning, and he missed church to stay home with me, and drove me to the hospital, cleaned up my sicky mess, bought me Gatorade and popsicles, and washed the dishes after making his own dinner of macaroni and cheese and hot dogs last night.

I have to go to work now… I’m feeling quite bloggy again lately, so I think I’ll update again soon.