The Unhappy Daughters of Feminism
What legacy did the feminist revolution leave? Two secular articles in the past month have explored that question in The New York Times and TIME magazine. Al Mohler wrote a summary and response in his article Feminism Unfulfilled – Why Are So Many Women Unhappy?. I encourage you to read the entire article, since it’s difficult to get the gist of it from a few quotes, but here are some highlights:
The big question raised by these studies is this: Has feminism produced unhappiness among women? That question is inescapable when seen in light of the historical context. The great transformation of society by feminism took shape only after the 1970s. As a political and social movement, feminism has been stunningly successful. In the span of a single generation, the society has been overwhelmingly transformed. But, over the same period, women report themselves less happy, especially as compared to men…
In reality, feminism was never only about opening doors for women. In order to make the case for the vast social transformation that feminism has produced, the feminist movement aspired to nothing short of a total social, moral, and cultural revolution. Along the way, feminism redefined womanhood, marriage, motherhood, and the roles for both men and women.
Nevertheless, it appears that most women are uncomfortable with this total package. Instead of producing a vast expansion of happiness among women, the feminist movement must now answer for the fact that women, by their own evaluation, appear to be less happy than before the revolution.
Dr. Mohler doesn’t expand on his belief for the reasons behind the state of female unhappiness in response to feminism – or he implies his reasons rather than stating them. It would seem that feminism, in attempting to give women more, more, more – more opportunities, more equality, more freedom – in reality struck a blow at the heart of what it means to be female. Feminism promises to give, but it has taken more than it has given.
Looking at this cultural context biblically is challenging. Certainly if a woman does not know the Lord, it does not matter whether she is a feminist or not. She might believe in and fulfill the most “traditional” roles for women, and yet still be ultimately unhappy and unfulfilled. The pre-feminist era was not a utopia of femininity, a shiny June Cleaver/Donna Reed world where women attained the elusive happiness they seek in vain today.
However, when roles for women were more clearly defined and commonly assumed, when they were closer to the Judeo-Christian tradition rooted in Scripture, even unbelieving women described themselves as more fulfilled. I think this is a testimony to the deep truth and power of God’s ways.
The fruit of cultural revolution, seen decades later, sheds light on my own heart. I am blessed to be aware of my biblical calling as a woman, including my specific calling right now as a wife and soon-to-be mother. My knowledge of this calling and my special role does not guarantee that I will be happy and fulfilled, for without intimate knowledge of and communion with Christ I will never be completely either completely (as my ongoing struggles with depression and self-pity testify). However, being assured in my purpose as a daughter of God does help provide me with security and confidence, as long as I am trusting Him to be ultimate fulfillment.
I hear ya, Anna! Thanks for posting this – feminism really does strip away what it means to be feminine, because the entire basis of the feminist movement was that men and women are basically the same. But honestly, all you have to do is look at the way men and women respond to different situations and you can see that we’re not the same – we’re different. Not superior/inferior, but different, like apples and oranges, with different roles and different areas that we excel in. I was listening to a sermon on this the other day!
Hello! You don’t know me but I stumbled across your blog whilst doing some research for a story I’m working on (I’m a journalist) and from reading this entry and a few older ones on this subject of feminism vs. femininity I can’t help but think you’ve got the wrong idea of feminism in your head.
Feminism really isn’t about being at odds with traditional roles of women, God, all that stuff. It’s really about ensuring that women are treated like human beings. I identify as a feminist but I haven’t given up my femininity either. I enjoy being a woman very much and I don’t know how my association with feminism could make me less “feminine.” I embrace my feminine side, I don’t try to pretend it’s not there or pretend like I’m “one of the guys.” Truthfully, I will say that being a wife or mother isn’t something that appeals to me, but I think it’s great when other women do choose to go down that route. I admire and respect women who do those things and I think those roles are just as important as any job out there in the “real world” so to speak. We’re all different, and what’s important to one woman is going to be different from the next. We just need to learn to support one another in our choices and stop creating this divide between “traditionalists” and the “working woman.” It gets us no where.
I actually am a contibutor to a feminism magazine called McClung’s based out of Toronto, Canada. Here’s our website:
http://mcclungs.ca/
Please check it out if you have a minute. I want to you to see that feminists aren’t against you. (We actually have had devout Christian women make contributions to our publication in the past.) All we’re just trying to do is make life easier for women everywhere by combating discrimation, wrongdoings and violence against women wherever we see it, here at home and abroad. We also work very hard to raise awarness and money for breast cancer and other diseases that affect women. And that’s really what MOST feminists are trying to do. The radicals do exist, just like they do in every group, but mostly we’re just average gals who want nothing more than to be treated like human beings. We don’t want to be treated like men (a common misconception) but we also don’t want to be treated like we’re less than men either. Men and women are different, yes, but one sex is not superior to the other. And the problem is that many, many people out there still think that men are superior and treat women unfairly in many situations and judge women far too harshly on our outward appearance. We are told by society how to dress, how to behave, what we should weigh etc etc etc, in a way that men aren’t. There’s a huge double standard that exists between men and women and many of us don’t think it’s right because it causes a lot of women to end up with depression, eating disorders and poor self esteem. The article you posted attempted to say that there was a direct correlation between feminism and uphappiness but I think the opposite is true. Being involved in feminism has given me meaning and made me feel better about myself. I think if women are unhappy these days it’s probably because of the immense amount of pressure we’re under to be perfect. The unrealistic beauty standards set up by the mainstream media are what’s hurting us, not the feminist movement.
Anyway, this is really long but I’ve said all I wanted to say. I just wanted to clear up any misconceptions about feminism that you may have had. We are not your enemy! We support you!
Hope you have a great day.
Anna, thank you for these thoughts. I will save this for use in our women’s ministry at Christ theRedeemer Church. Have you read Wayne Grudem’s book, Evangelical Feminism: A New Path to Liberalism? (For some reason I am unable to either underline or italicize this title!) I have it in my stack of books to read, and I hear it’s good.
Thank you everyone for your comments! I plan on replying ASAP.
Sara,
I am Anna’s husband and I just wanted to respond to your comment. Thanks for commenting and we appreciate your reading of the post. Although books have been written on the subject and this response could be a book, I will try to keep it brief.
You said,
“Feminism really isn’t about being at odds with traditional roles of women, God, all that stuff. It’s really about ensuring that women are treated like human beings.”
I wanted to make a distinction between “traditional roles of women” and “God, all that stuff.”
First and foremost, we believe the Holy Bible is the authoritative word of God. What the Bible teaches about women’s roles [and men] is devised in what we call “biblical womanhood” or “biblical feminity.” Therefore, these terms only apply to Christians and not the world [world= people that are not born again, according to John 3 and do not live under the rule and reign of Jesus Christ and the Word of God]. In other words, in the biblical sense, it is impossible for a Christian woman to be what we call a “modern day feminist” and if the vice verse is true, she would simply be delivered from feminism in order for her to be an orthodox [biblical] Christian.
Everything you stated is interpreted based off how any woman answers the following questions:
1) Have you ultimately repented of your sins [meaning that you have offended God and broken His Law, the Ten Commandments] and trusted in Christ [because of His bloody death on the Cross and resurrection Matt. 27:50, Matt. 28:7] to deliver you from sin, death and ultimately God’s wrath in hell [Romans 3:23]?
2) Do you see and understand the Bible as the perfect and infallible authoritative Word of God?
“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.” 2 Timothy 3:16-17
If the answer is no to either one of these questions, then you have more serious problems than “feminists and traditionalists” getting along. God commands all men everywhere to repent because of our sin and rebellion against Him [Acts 17:30-31]. So, the real issue is not “feminism” but sin. And God will one day judge everyone in perfect righteousness according to the Law. The real problem is selfishness, lying, blasphemy, adultery, thieving and murder [whether in your mind, heart or physically].
Once you understand that, your view of God and the world is an entirely different worldview. Feminism is really a sin and worldview issue. If you have no problem with abortion and women having a “I want to be able to do exactly what I feel like” attitude, then this would be in the category of “the world” and not under the authority and Lordship of Christ and His Word. It is sin. Therefore, “true Christian women” by what God’s Word defines and “feminists” by what secularists and society defines cannot get along. It is a diametric impossibility because they both represent two entirely different lifestyles, worldviews, worship, Gods [gods] etc.
I wanted to note your paragraph:
“The article you posted attempted to say that there was a direct correlation between feminism and uphappiness but I think the opposite is true. Being involved in feminism has given me meaning and made me feel better about myself. I think if women are unhappy these days it’s probably because of the immense amount of pressure we’re under to be perfect. The unrealistic beauty standards set up by the mainstream media are what’s hurting us, not the feminist movement.”
The reason feminists are unhappy is because they do not and are not fulfilling their “biblical role” as a woman and merely succumb and accept what the world gladly accepts. They attempt to find satisfaction in the supposed “freedom” that feminism brings for women. They merely blaspheme God by committing idolatry and worshiping themselves, the world and their self- image as opposed to Christ and His Word.
From the biblical worldview, every woman has a specific “biblical role” whether she is single or married. If she is married and under the authority of Christ, then she will gladly “submit to her husband as to the Lord. [Ephesians 5:22]” If she is single then she simply fulfills a “ministry role” where she is able to apply her “biblical womanhood” gifts for the glory of God in Christ while maintaing that type of character in a woman that God blessed and approves. Namely:
“3:1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.”
1 Peter 3:1-6
To wrap up, the reason Christians write about feminism is not just because they are “unhappy” or to talk about “another perspective” [although these things are true] but rather because it is simply sin. If you are or become a Christian [and I hope you are or do for your eternal sake], then you find all of your joy and identity in Christ alone. Everything a married or single Christian woman does is for the glory of Christ. She sees the heinousness and deceitfulness of sin [such as feminism, abortion, selfish ambition, self-seeking nature, i.e. Romans 2:8], and conforms it to the image of Christ [i.e. to be holy, to reflect love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, etc.]. There is no real joy outside of God’s purpose for relationships, and in our case, the marriage relationship. My wife submits to me as to Christ according to Ephesians 5. I am to love her as Christ loved the church [i.e. the ones Christ died for on the Cross]. That is how we glorify Him in marriage because it is what He ordained to represent between a man and woman. It is completely sacrificial because both are completely surrendered to Christ in thankfulness for our eternal deliverance from sin and wrath. There is no room for feminism.
Well, AJ, thanks for your opinion, but I guess we’ll have to respectfully disagee with one another. I wholeheartedly accept that Christians take the Bible as the truth and live their lives according to it, but the rest of us are not living without morals and we are not unhappy. Feminism, as I addressed in my initial comment to your lovely wife, has given me happiness and meaning where I found none before. I feel a support system within it. I love to be able to fight for the rights and freedoms of my fellow women, no matter if they choose to be at home or in the workforce. I feel like that’s where God (and yes, I do believe in God) has led me.
I wasn’t trying to disrespect Christianity in any way, I was just clearing up the fact that feminists aren’t miserable, godless heathens. It seems like a lot of religious folk think that way about us and I find it kind of bothersome. Nobody likes to be stereotyped or pigeonholed, ya know?
I was going to respond to your answer, Sara, but I’m going to echo my husband on this one since I don’t want to draw out the debate indefinitely. True understanding of biblical womanhood only comes from a true understanding of Scripture, and it’s only God’s grace that allows me to understand glimpses of what it means to be a true woman. By writing this post, I was attempting to show evidence that God’s way really is the best way – just another example of how only He, not feminism or independence or being a wife and mother, can bring true happiness.
However, I wouldn’t disagree with you on many of the issues you mentioned, and biblical Christianity wouldn’t either. Stopping violence against women is right. God created us to be equal with men (although we won’t gain happiness from constantly insisting on equality). Working for causes like breast cancer research and awareness is great. Christians should be (and are) involved in these issues as well. In those cases, the label “feminism” becomes confusing and perhaps distracting because both of us are referring to different things.
Not only should Christians be passionate about a wife’s submission to her husband and her primary responsibility to her home, but they should be passionate about a husband’s sacrificial love for his wife and stopping violence against or oppression of women. Both sides of the equation are equally biblical, and I think you and I would find common ground in certain issues that you might label feminism and I might not.
I just wanted to acknowledge that part of your response since I know indiscriminate labels can be frustrating if we don’t take time to define what we mean.
Anna, I respect that fully. I know happiness through God, as well. I’ve always believed in something bigger than myself being at work in the universe guiding me, it’s just taken me in a different direction than it has you. I guess I just don’t see there being a clear cut, black and white way of looking at womanhood or femininity. This is where we diagree, I guess. But I still respect that you’re so strong in your faith and you live it in every aspect of your life. And I appreciate that you’ve read my responses and responded to them in a respecful manner, even if we do disagree. I think that’s where a lot of people go wrong when these topics are brought up. We don’t really listen to one another and get angry and defensive and then nothing gets accomplished.