25 weeks, 2 days.
When I found out I was pregnant, I thought about having a baby. Obviously. Giving birth was one of the first things on my mind after I saw the positive result.
But nine months is a long time, especially when weeks 6-16 sent me to the emergency room once for dehydration, while the rest of my time was spent on the couch trying not to throw up, sipping Gatorade and eating Chex Mix.
I couldn’t feel the baby moving then either. I didn’t know his gender or his name. He was a little abstract, a floating concept, someone I knew existed but couldn’t connect to.
I loved him, though, in spite of the physical and emotional roller coaster he was putting me through. Even though he came along so quickly after we got married, creating even more change in a changeful year, I was happy. I saw him moving on the ultrasound at 9 weeks and heard his perfect heartbeat at 13 weeks. He really was there!
Around 16 weeks, I started to feel better, and it wasn’t until then I realized how completely miserable I had been! I felt like my old self again, with occasional relapses. I felt the baby move for the first time, just a couple of furtive but insistent jerks first thing in the morning. To top it all off, our anatomy ultrasound was at 18 weeks. We were having a boy!
In the past several weeks since then, reality has been sinking in. Strangers can now tell I’m pregnant. The baby moves consistently throughout the day (and night sometimes), and A.J. can feel him moving too. We know he’s a boy and what we’re naming him (Christian Andrew). I’m 3 weeks away from the third trimester, and less than 15 weeks away from delivery.
So much of the pregnancy so far has been centered around the pregnancy, the nausea and exhaustion it created, the way it changed our entire lives, the weekly progress of our baby’s growth. But now I’m getting to the point where I’m realizing this is going to end sooner rather than later. I still have a lot of work to do to prepare, but that’s not what overwhelms me – it’s thinking about after he’s born!
I just spent about an hour looking through a book about baby’s first year, and all of the post-delivery stuff scares me. The nasty details about recovering that no one ever talks about, the difficulties of breastfeeding, the extreme fatigue of being on a newborn’s schedule, the losing of pregnancy weight. Right now I just want someone to tell me that it won’t really be that bad, that I’ll get the hang of it and be able to take care of my baby and clean my house and look like I did before I was pregnant. Being a first-time mom is scary!
Thank the Lord I have role models to bring to mind – my own mother for one, who was sick with each of her four pregnancies and had all four of us before I (the oldest) turned five. She didn’t seem frazzled and miserable while we were growing up; I remember a mostly clean house and delicious food and a mother who always looked put-together and seemed mostly calm. (I know I probably missed some things, but that’s a pretty good overall impression to leave in your child’s mind!)
And there are women I know from church, both growing up and now, who have little ones and though their houses aren’t perfectly perfect and they don’t look like Heidi Klum two months after delivery, they seem to be happy and healthy people, even having been through the trauma of motherhood (it seems traumatic to me at times!).
I’m easily discouraged, but I want to take it one day at a time and remember God has ordained this calling for me and will give me the strength and comfort I need.
If you have any post delivery/pregnancy questions to ask or you are curious if it is as bad as the book sounds… ask me! I don’t mind. I was nervous about the post delivery stuff and it was much easier recovering than I expected.
Hope that helps!
? Such a sweet post. Your last sentence sums it all up. It is a calling and the end results are eternal!
Thank you so much, Joanna, I will! Even saying it was easier than you thought it would be helps a lot.
I’m a little nervous about the delivery, and I’m not even pregnant yet! But women have been doing it for milennia, so I guess I can too! Ha! I’ll be praying that everything will go well when the time comes.
I think you’re going into this with eyes wide open. I agree with Joanna. It’s not as bad as you might think it’s going to be. And every difficulty fades when compared with the incredible joy of caring for your new little one and watching the joy he brings to his daddy and others (myself included
). So much will come naturally to you. And there’s lots of help available when needed. Remember – trust, and don’t be afraid.
God will provide all you need..trust in Him and your instincts.
Anna,
I just realized that an article on Young Ladies Christian Fellowship which I have cherished for some time (“Giving Your Heart Away”) was actually written here originally. I followed the link (like an Alice down a rabbit hole) and was happy to find Hope Road. Blessings to you and your husband and baby. I’ll be sure to stop by again,
Everly
Everly, I’m happy you enjoyed it! It’s nice to “meet” you and I look forward to hearing from you again.
WOW GIRL! I haven’t been to your blog in so long. Someone came to my blog from yours and reminded me of you. And LOOK WHERE YOU ARE! It seems like just yesterday I was reading about your hopes for a husband, etc. Hahaha. Sure does happen fast! As for this post … pregnancy is about 900% worse than post-pregnancy in my opinion. I got pregnant with my first when I was 21, newly married. I’m now 24, wait? No … Yeah, Okay … For a second I thought I might be 23. Hahahahaha. Pregnancy brain!
Anyway … I’m now in my third pregnancy and I’m only 24! I had natural births and can tell you this … It hurts, but it’s worth it. The pain is worth the natural birth because afterward I felt so much better. Our second birth was in a birth center and we got there at 12, had the baby at 5, and we were back home by 7. It was wonderful. Contractions don’t bother me as much as pushing, but pushing the first isn’t as bad because of the length of labor … You’re almost numb down there in a way. Still hurts, but not quite as bad.
As for everything afterward. I’d rather get up at night with a newborn and have that “normal fatigue” than have the fatigue, exhaustion, and nausea I get with pregnancy. ANY DAY! It’s not that bad and you are so excited to see your baby (esp the first) that you actually want to get up every 2 hours. I co-sleep too, so it’s easy. They sleep on my chest and when they begin to stir, before they cry, I feed em and change em and get back to it. Both of my we ones were in their own cribs and sleeping a full 8-10 hours within 4 months — and a full 12 hours by 6 months. So it really ISN’T that bad.
The bleeding after recovering? Lasts about a week or two for me and it’s not that big of a deal. No different than a period. I didn’t have an episiotomy with either and didn’t tear at all … So nothing to heal there either. Losing pregnancy weight should come naturally if you breastfeed … Plus go for lots of walks and stuff… Get out and walk around the mall with the baby if it’s cold there. I know it’s not the same for everyone, but I get to my pre-pregnancy weight within 2-3 weeks. That’s with both pregnancies, might take a little longer for the third. Now … That doesn’t mean my stomach looks the same! Haha. It looks like it’s had almost 3 kids in 3 years … But all that is nothing.
It really isn’t that bad! You’ll be fine! You’re going to LOVE post-pregnancy. And breastfeeding can be tricky to get a grasp on the first few times, but after that you’ll be a pro. It’s one of my FAVORITE things in the world to do! Can’t wait to see pics of the cute little blessing from God!