A Gentle and Quiet Spirit

“Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” (1 Peter 3:3-4)

I’ve loved these verses for a long time – I’ve blogged about them in the past. The words completely contradict the world’s concept of beauty. They set forth God’s standard for his daughters. It’s easy to be absorbed by the sweetness of the words “the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” What a nice concept. It sounds so simple.

The surrounding verses flesh out what this gentle and quiet spirit really looks like, and somehow the simplicity and ease of it begins to melt away. Verses 1-2 read, “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.” In marriage, a gentle and quiet spirit expresses itself in subjection to a husband, with conduct that is respectful and pure. Even a woman whose husband is not a believer might be won over to the faith by this heart in his wife.

The exhortation to wives continues in verses 5-6: “For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.” Here we see more characteristics of the inner beauty that is precious in God’s sight – hope in Him, submission in marriage, good works, and a courageous heart. Biblical womanhood is not weak, as some may claim! Women with gentle and quiet spirits are the strong ones, because they find their strength in God. This is why it was said of the Proverbs 31 woman that “strength and dignity are her clothing” (v. 25).

How convicting that a principal characteristic of the beautiful woman is her lack of fear. Holy women who hope in God are focused on Him and on the good works by which they can bless others. They are not cowardly and anxious. Again, the Proverbs 31 woman exemplifies this trait: “She laughs at the time to come” (v. 25). The woman with a gentle and quiet spirit is uniquely unburdened by the world’s cares, because her eyes are on Christ and not on herself.

In the end, the qualities of a gentle and quiet spirit are impossible for us to manufacture in ourselves. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I am not naturally a hopeful, submissive, brave woman. I am thankful that “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness” (2 Peter 1:3).