Still Experiencing Technical Difficulties

Remember that RSS problem I wrote about a few weeks back? It’s still causing me problems; I’ve lost 70 subscribers and have been unsuccessful in trying to get them restored. For those of you to whom this sounds like jargon and jibberish, that basically means that most of my readers don’t know when I’ve updated my blog, so it feels kind of pointless to write new posts! However, I know that there are still some of you out there. I truly desire to continue writing about the topics that I care so much about, so in the midst of all of the busyness of this season I would like to continue doing that. If anyone has had a similar problem with Feedburner lately, let me know and maybe I can pick your brain!

Listening to the words

I didn’t watch the inauguration. I was trying to get two restless, crying children to go to sleep during naptime at my job. (Naptime for the children, not the teachers, of course.) The Nature Sounds CD was playing. (It’s pretty because it sounds almost mournful. Soft instrumentation in a minor key, along with the sound of birds chirping and waves lapping and trees rustling.)

In between songs I could hear a man’s voice in loud and determined tones, his words blurred by the walls and doors between me and whoever was watching. I knew it was someone, perhaps even Obama, speaking at the inauguration, because otherwise I never would hear a TV or radio at work. So I heard, but I didn’t hear. I was isolated by the walls and the music and my responsibilities.

I wonder what else gets between me and true hearing, and not just hearing but listening. Jesus often said, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear” (Matt. 11:15, 13:9; Mark 4:9, 23; Luke 8:8, 14:35). Sometimes His voice is faint and muffled in my life, because I drown it out with other noise, even “pretty” noise. What does it mean for me to truly listen to Him, to sit at His feet and see Him only? To soak in His Word? My true Savior, not a political leader whom God has appointed for a season, but the only Hope, the only Change, the only Life. The Way, the Truth, and the Life.

My Treasure

My Redeemer is faithful and true
And everything He has said, He will do
And every morning His mercies are new
My Redeemer is faithful and true

Jesus, all for Jesus
All I am and have and ever hope to be

In the morning when I rise
In the morning when I rise
In the morning when I rise
Give me Jesus
Give me Jesus, give me Jesus
You can have all this world
Give me Jesus

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my great Father, and I Thy true son
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise
Thou mine inheritance, now and always
Thou and Thou only first in my heart
High King of heaven, my treasure Thou art

Serving Jesus at My Job

Tomorrow I start training for my new job. I thank God for His provision of employment for me. I moved to a new state without having another job lined up. I did, however, have a week’s worth of vacation from my last job to tide me over. The window between jobs was so small that I didn’t even have one official day of unemployment, and only today was unpaid.

So I am very thankful and humbled by how quickly and smoothly I am able to transition into this new job. What a blessing it is not to struggle with weeks or months of unemployment, questioning my overall decision-making process and floundering financially. I am also very pleased with the place I am working compared to other options in the same field.

Yet in spite of how often I remind myself to be grateful, I am not looking forward to working in a daycare again. I prefer non-institutional child care and a more home-like setting. Being in the chaotic, mass-production orientation of a daycare drains me, simply because of the environment. I love peace, quiet, order, and a set list of tasks to accomplish. I want to take ownership over the setting I am in, make it functional and attractive, and be creative while working at my own pace. I think being home-schooled spoiled me (in a good way); it affects how I view the workplace.

Looking back over that last paragraph, I must remind myself that no matter what my preferences are, my portion is what the Lord has provided. I don’t get to choose what type of environment I’m going to work in. I can pursue as many options as I want to, but God, my faithful Shepherd, is the only one who decides which doors to open and which to close. For now, He has led me to this place and opened this door, and I know that if He calls, He also provides the sustenance needed to fulfill the call.

As I prepare to start working tomorrow, I am reminding myself of Colossians 3:22-24: “Slaves, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.”

What an endless debt I owe Christ, a debt I can never repay. How can I begrudge a moment of time or an iota of work, if I am serving the one who bled and died for me? I pray that my heart will be reminded of this in the endless minutiae of my daily routine. If my heart is set on Him, then my service should always be unhesitatingly joyful, and complaints should be far from my mind.

May I, like Mary, treasure Jesus’ every word and linger at His feet – and be enabled to keep her quiet heart while, like Martha, I am busy serving Him.

What I’m [trying to] read

Anne Bradstreet: A Guided Tour of the Life and Thought of a Puritan Poet by Heidi L. Nichols

My nana gave me a Barnes and Noble gift card for my birthday a few months ago. I had seen this book linked on Girl Talk, and I bought it since both poetry and the Puritans interest me. So far I’ve read the introduction and the first several sections of poetry. The biographical information is dense at times, and the poems I’ve read are Bradstreet’s more formal, “epic” works, so it hasn’t been easy reading.

But I love Nichols’ guidance, since it comes from the perspective of one who shares the poet’s faith in a sovereign and saving God. I look forward to reading the more personal poetry in the rest of the book. This excerpt speaks about the role Anne’s writing played in her spiritual life:

Perhaps the most popular use of writing and poetry among the Puritans, practiced with varying degrees of literary finesse, was a very personal one — that of facilitating meditation and introspection… Using her writing as a type of spiritual exercise or journal, she expresses the thoughts of her soul, confessing her foibles, giving voice to her desires, and declaring her aspirations for spiritual growth. Whereas her fellow Puritan John Milton wrote Paradise Lost in order to “justify the ways of God to man,” Bradstreet wrote much of her personal work in order to reconcile herself to God and to work out the doctrines of her faith in everyday life. (53)

 
Feminine Appeal: Seven Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother by Carolyn Mahaney

My mother gave me this book for Christmas, and since I am soon to be a wife myself, I know I need as much instruction as I can get in this area. Carolyn bases her teaching on the model set for women in Titus 2. She writes about love for one’s husband and children, self-control, purity, working at home, kindness, and submission. She’s very honest, humble, and down-to-earth, and I have enjoyed what I’ve read so far.

In the midst of a new season of life, it’s been challenging to read as much as I used to, but I want to continue working at it!

A Gentle and Quiet Spirit

“Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” (1 Peter 3:3-4)

I’ve loved these verses for a long time – I’ve blogged about them in the past. The words completely contradict the world’s concept of beauty. They set forth God’s standard for his daughters. It’s easy to be absorbed by the sweetness of the words “the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” What a nice concept. It sounds so simple.

The surrounding verses flesh out what this gentle and quiet spirit really looks like, and somehow the simplicity and ease of it begins to melt away. Verses 1-2 read, “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.” In marriage, a gentle and quiet spirit expresses itself in subjection to a husband, with conduct that is respectful and pure. Even a woman whose husband is not a believer might be won over to the faith by this heart in his wife.

The exhortation to wives continues in verses 5-6: “For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.” Here we see more characteristics of the inner beauty that is precious in God’s sight – hope in Him, submission in marriage, good works, and a courageous heart. Biblical womanhood is not weak, as some may claim! Women with gentle and quiet spirits are the strong ones, because they find their strength in God. This is why it was said of the Proverbs 31 woman that “strength and dignity are her clothing” (v. 25).

How convicting that a principal characteristic of the beautiful woman is her lack of fear. Holy women who hope in God are focused on Him and on the good works by which they can bless others. They are not cowardly and anxious. Again, the Proverbs 31 woman exemplifies this trait: “She laughs at the time to come” (v. 25). The woman with a gentle and quiet spirit is uniquely unburdened by the world’s cares, because her eyes are on Christ and not on herself.

In the end, the qualities of a gentle and quiet spirit are impossible for us to manufacture in ourselves. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I am not naturally a hopeful, submissive, brave woman. I am thankful that “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness” (2 Peter 1:3).

Article on Cross-Eyed Blog and Webzine

The entry I wrote a couple of months ago, entitled The Princess Syndrome, has been republished on the new Cross-Eyed Blog and Webzine under the title The Princess Disorder. You should go over and check out the new blog; I haven’t been able to look at it much but it looks great from what I’ve seen. Kaysie and Eric worked hard on it, I can tell!

Down in my heart to stay

(I’m sorry if I just got a song in your head with that title!)

Peace can’t come from other people. It can’t come from inside yourself either. True peace is so much more than the world knows. The world would define peace as feeling content and happy with your life, getting along with other people, or having everything you want. My true need is having peace with God, and a removal of His righteous anger for my sin. That need has already been met through Christ’s death on the cross as the penalty for my sin. This brings a peace that I can rejoice in daily as God’s child. If I’m looking for contentment, satisfaction, and hope in other people, or in my own heart, I will never be fulfilled. If I rest in the peace that Christ has already accomplished for me, my heart finds its true home.