The Princess Syndrome

Breaking news: Princesses are taking over!

A friend and I were in Barnes and Noble a couple months ago. We noticed a display of children’s books and how many of them were princess-themed, with titles like A Little Princess, The Princess and the Pea, The Princess Diaries, and of course, the entire pantheon of Disney princesses. Not only are bookstores bursting at the seams with these tales, there are also the Christian versions – The Princess and the Kiss, His Princess: Love Letters from Your King, God’s Little Princess Devotional Bible, and Gigi: God’s Little Princess.

Even browsing the titles of these books is an indication of the importance placed on the position of princess in our (ironically democratic) culture. Little girls cherish fantasies of wearing a tiara and ballgown, capturing everyone’s attention with their beauty, and being won by the handsome and dashing Prince Charming. And not only does secular culture encourage this dream, but Christian culture does also – and the characterization is stretched to fit by saying that God is the King of the universe, and we are His daughters, so what does that make us? Princesses, of course!

Certainly, being a child of the Most High King is a high calling and an unmatchable privilege. He loves us deeply and unfathomably, so much so that He sacrificed His very life for us! We are precious to Him. But why did Jesus die? Was the ultimate goal that we would know our own value, enjoy being the monarchs of our own little kingdoms, and attract attention to ourselves? I cannot find a biblical basis for that perspective. Instead, I read: “So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty’” (Luke 17:10).

I also love the quote from John Piper that says, “To make them feel good about themselves when they were made to feel good about seeing God is like taking someone to the Alps and locking them in a room full of mirrors.”

These truths are the reason I would hesitate to encourage the Princess Syndrome in my daughters someday. I am not saying this to judge those who allow a little innocent princess play. I think one reason young girls are attracted to the idea of being a princess is because it seems to encapsulate femininity, grace, and confidence, and that’s not a bad thing. However, it can be carried too far when girls are encouraged to think of themselves as Very Important Persons who deserve special treatment and consideration in every situation.

In reality, we are miserable, wretched sinners who deserve death and hell. The only change in our situation as Christians is caused by the death of Christ for our sins, so that we may be reconciled with God. Now we are indeed called and set apart for the high privilege of being His children. Yet let us not presumptuously assume that we deserve anything more than we did before our adoption. (This idea is in direct contrast to beliefs preached by pastors like Joel Osteen, who says that Christians should expect “preferential treatment.” In stark contrast, the Bible warns us over and over again to expect suffering and persecution; even to welcome it [e.g. Romans 5:3, 2 Timothy 1:8, 2:3, 3:12, 1 Peter 2:19, 4:12, 5:9].)

As an alternative to the Disney princess model, why don’t we as Christian women seek to model our lives after such women as Esther, whose bold trust in God and love for her people impelled her to proclaim in the face of enormous risk, “If I perish, I perish”? Or Mary, who submitted with humility to the mysterious and terrifying will of God for her life? Or Sarah, a holy woman who hoped in God, did what was right, and did not fear anything frightening? These are the women I want to be like, even though I often find myself so far from their godly examples.

How much better to seek a life like theirs, of trust and humility and submission and hope, rather than imitating the vacuous and shallow examples of Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Jasmine, and Ariel. Let us adore our King, and throw off the entangling temptations of a world that promises to adore us instead.