What It Means to Be Beautiful
From the time we were little girls, we gazed hopefully or agonizingly in the mirror, longing to be pretty. We noticed women who had that elusive and desireable quality, a special loveliness. We scrutinized every aspect of our faces, criticizing our flaws and concealing them with makeup as soon as our mothers let us. We noticed how often people’s looks were mentioned, particularly women’s - much more often than their sweetness, grace, or intelligence, it seemed.
Yet there is redemption in this broken system. Perhaps we had mothers whose inward lives emitted a beauty that far surpassed any outward claim to prettiness. Or maybe we had someone who told us what mattered was our inner selves, not how much our face or hair or body measured up to some external standard. Or even better, perhaps we learned to measure ourselves by a far different standard than any created by man - Scripture.
“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30
“Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness - with good works.” 1 Timothy 2:9-10
“Do not let your adorning be external - the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear - but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” 1 Peter 3:3-4
Imagine getting a peek into the cover of a book entitled God’s Definition of Beauty. That is exactly what we have here. His standards are so different than those we’ve learned almost everywhere else. He sees beauty in a heart that looks up to Him with awe and reverence. He sees beauty in a woman who conducts herself with modesty in how she dresses. He sees beauty in a woman who controls herself and submits to His will instead of her own. He sees beauty in a woman who adorns herself with good works instead of with expensive clothes. And He sees beauty in a woman who has a gentle spirit towards others, and an inner quietness that trusts in Him.
Do you know a woman whose life is characterized by God’s standard of beauty? I know several. And what I admire in them is not their outward appearance, whether they stay up-to-date with fashion trends or are skinny as can be or know how to apply makeup perfectly. I value their reverent, godly lives. And much more importantly, their heavenly Father is pleased by the way they are living. These are the sort of women I want to pattern my life after. I know that He has grace to teach me what it really means to be beautiful.
Filed under: Biblical Femininity on April 7th, 2008
Nice post. I may send it onto a few female friends
Brilliant post, Anna. Thanks for the reminder of true beauty that is precious in God’s sight
So I’ve wrestled with the inner beauty idea before and it seems like it tends toward gnosticism: inner/spiritual beauty is good, physical aspects of beauty don’t matter. Yet, any photographer or artist would tell you that there is so much beauty in the natural world (Grand Canyon, Crater Lake in OR, the Cascade Mountains), so obviously we cannot say that there is no physical beauty that matters. At the same time, there are many people who are endowed with beautiful flesh who are very ugly people. I’ve been puzzled by this for several months now and posted some speculations on this last fall:
Pt. 1 http://jdouvier.blogspot.com/2007/09/de-forma-humana.html
Pt. 2 http://jdouvier.blogspot.com/2007/09/de-forma-humana-pt-2.html
I have struggled with that dichotomy as well. But I think I can still say with confidence that what God really values is inner beauty. This does not mean outer beauty is worthless, or that it is completely wrong to want to look good. But that’s not where our primary focus should lie. There is great comfort to be found in God’s definition of true inner beauty.
How true….it’s so easy to forget what true beauty is! Thank you for this reminder!
Oh, it is so easy for me to be caught up in how I look rather than to think about improving my character. The fight against vanity seems to be constant and without end and the need for prayer seems so great.
Thank you for the thoughts!
Hi Anna, a question I asked myself when reading this.
“From the time we were little girls, we gazed hopefully or agonizingly in the mirror, longing to be pretty”
Did I ever ask this as a little girl?
How would I write this same/similar post?
I know you’re set to do these series, but I guess what would hit home would be to write from your own experiences rather than the theoretical.
On a bit of a side note:
I’ve been pondering lately what it would be like to approach something we’ve grown up with, with absolutely nothing behind it, no external reading, no other people’s ideas (somewhat unrealistic to ever reach that point ) but how that would change my perceptions of who Jesus is or…
so,
Did you ask that question when you were a little girl? I want to hear about it and hear the stories rather than the theories that get bantered around (I’ve read a lot of Christian books aimed at females) as presupposed assumptions.
I don’t mean this so sound so direct (as I’m pretty sure it does) and you can be absolutely free to ignore me, but it’s an idea I’m chucking around in my own head.
We can never think about these things too much as Christian women! Well said!
I loved this post.