The Beauty of Submission (Guest Post)
Welcome to the third entry in the Soul Sisters series! Click here for the introduction to the series.
Guest post by Eva (my mother!)
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Today’s truth:
Submission in a godly marriage is not demeaning; it is freeing.
Submission is a matter of trust – a matter of the heart.
“The Lord has done great things for us and our hearts are filled with joy” (Psalm 126:3). One of the great things Christ has done for us is to willingly submit Himself to the authority and will of His Father. Because of His example we too can experience the joy of submission.
As David Kotter wrote on Gender Blog:
What difference does the doctrine of the eternal submission of the Son make in our hearts? It reassures a wife that her role in marriage is not ignoble or demeaning. If this imitates the role that Jesus Christ assumes in the very Godhead, then a wife’s role is fundamentally noble and good.
There are few things more counter-cultural and gospel-displaying than a wife joyfully imitating Jesus Christ in his submission to the Father. Though Jesus was in the form of God, he did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but humbled himself. For this He was highly exalted, and in the same way a wife of noble character is more valuable than precious rubies.
Submission has been given such a bad reputation because of the egalitarian views of so many. Marriage is approached from the mindset that all responsibilities and decisions are to be equally shared by both spouses. But I think the majority of the misconceptions are from the woman’s point of view. Women want their husbands to divide the housework, share the cooking, take turns with the children, etc. But honestly, how many men expect their wives to change the oil in the car, repair the roof or crawl into the crawl space. Therefore the disdain for submission stems from the sense of injustice that comes with the thought of a woman having to do “woman’s work.” The image comes to mind of the man coming home from a hard day’s work, sitting in his recliner, paper in front of his face, demanding, “Wife, where’s dinner! I’m hungry!” while the poor worn-out wife scurries about like a frightened mouse striving to please his every whim. What a sad and terribly false picture this is of the beauty of submission.
To me there is great comfort in submission. I love to know that I am under my husband’s protection. That the really tough decisions and the responsibility that comes with them, he will gladly bear.
My efforts at submission have revealed my heart to me. I haven’t always done it very well. There have been times when I have handled situations as if I knew better, all the while thinking I was being submissive. And God has faithfully shown me my error and covered it by His grace. The question is always – am I willing to trust and obey my husband in the big and little things? And even more importantly, am I willing to trust and obey God? After all, submission is His idea. It is a kind of spiritual discipline through which I can attain spiritual maturity, peace, and joy.
-This post was written by my dear mother. She and my dad have been married for over twenty-three years. It is from her example that I first began to appreciate the value of submission in marriage.
I love that submission isn’t about being a doormat, but it’s about being protected and treasured. Have you heard of Susan Hunt? She has a lot of books about what it means to to be a biblical woman. This post reminds me of her.
If I am to marry again, my expectation from my wife would be that she will submit to me. I sincerely hope that her highest expectation of me would that I am in complete submission to the Almighty God and abide in His will. Without that obedience, then I can do nothing and I certainly cannot love and care for my wife as a Godly husband should.
Freeing and beautiful!
Susan Hunt is one of my favorites! I believe I have most if not all of her books for women.
Anna, I love that your mom wrote this! How wonderful to hear godly counsel from a woman able to give it from experience–I truly enjoyed this post.
Thank her for sharing her insight with your readers!
I can see where you get your passion and some of your writing ability.
A set of amazing thoughts. I think that women have been robbed of God given joy by what society says that they deserve– what is their rights. They have cheapened what it means to be a woman, and have created a false equality.
That being said, there’s always two sides to the coin and men can use the whole “you should be submissive line” to become the very man that walks home and demands dinner. We’re probably on the other end of the spectrum right now, and have to find out way back to what’s good and godly.
Even though I am not married yet, I agree with what you said. I just wish that more women would realize that.
What a wonderful post – so lovely to hear from your mother! You are so blessed to have such godly, wise parents, Anna
Hello Anna, I came across your site from WPB, please let your mother know, this article was a blessing:) And a nice reminder that I don’t have to feel shame for wanting to take care of those things (cooking cleaning etc.) also a reminder of the need to talk about these sort of things before marriage. So many distorted views concerning submission to be sure it doesn’t bleed into the marriage.
I pastor a church in Commerce, GA. And I found this site by searching “the beauty of submission.” Please tell your mom thanks for her encouraging words. You have a great example to follow.
I’m preaching a message from I Peter 3:1-6 Sunday Oct. 5 entitled, “Superior Beauty in the Joy of Submission.” I’d like to know if you have a favorite illustration or story on the beauty of submission. Please email me if you think of one.