Stirrings of Scripture
Some days, reading the Bible seems fruitless. I know that the words covering the tissue-thin pages are ancient and precious, words with power and substance, heavy with the weight of blood and tears, today’s and yesterday’s. They are the deepest truth for my soul, the antidote for my sin, a window through which to peer at my Maker.
Yes, I know this, mind and heart. And yet there is that day when the effort of absorbing the well-known teaching does not seem worth it. There is no “Aha!” moment, nothing that holds my attention, nothing that noticeably applies to my life. The dullness of my heart and the blindness of my eyes frustrate me. I want to be astounded and inspired, and instead I close the Book and cross “devotions” off my mental to-do list. I feel unchanged.
But maybe that isn’t all there is to it. Maybe something about the rhythms of faithfulness, the daily return to those same time-worn passages, is significant. Because those truths begin to form an undercurrent to my life. They become familiar as friends because I meet with them so often. They begin to appear everywhere, seeping into my thought processes before I’m even aware of it.
Days later, perhaps, a phrase I read earlier in the week will pop into my head at just the right moment. Or in my theology class, a well-known verse helps me as I’m trying to piece things together mentally. Or at the moment of temptation to choose the selfish way, I remember what the Jesus way looks like.
I’m an American. I like quick results. I want immediate rewards for the discipline of Scripture reading. Sometimes, it brings joy overflowing in the very moment I’m poring over the pages. I long for my delight in Scripture to increase exponentially. Yet let me not be discouraged when I cannot feel that excitement once in awhile. This truth, these words, are powerful. The Spirit is using them in my heart and life. They are shaping me and changing me, whether I can sense it or not. They are precious, tried and true. May we not forsake them.
Beautiful reflection on the sometimes burdensome yet always fruitful task of reading Scripture.
this is beautiful, Anna. poignantly honest and really timely for me. thank you!
Such great thoughts–I just love the way you honestly share both your struggles and the profound insights that flow from your prayerful reflection. There’s so much wisdom here, Anna…I don’t know how you feel about bloggy “awards,” but I’m passing along to you the “Spread the Love” award. Don’t feel any obligation to act on it. I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate your blog.
Anna, this post gave me a light bulb moment! Thank you. I have often felt the same way, as if something was wrong with me because I wasn’t “getting anything” out of my scripture reading. But your thought that the message continues to seep through and become that familiar friend and undercurrent in our lives – I had never looked at it that way before, and it is so true and freeing!! Now I feel peace about those days, resting in the knowledge that God’s word will ALWAYS bear fruit in my life when I continue to be faithful in reading it.
Very true words of encouragement, Anna, thank you! I felt like this this morning during my devotional time. But praise God, it doesn’t matter how we feel – reading Scripture still benefits us greatly, even if we can’t sense it that moment.
I’ve been there myself Anna, and as I grow (all the credit & glory to God!!), I’ve come to realize that sometimes it’s a matter of just being still and patient as God works out His plan.
So yes, as much as I too enjoy the Instant Revelation Gratification (IRG) from study, it don’t always happen. Peaks and valleys I suppose.
Anywho, as Paul reminded us constantly…”keep your eye on the prize and run the good race.”
I hope you have a great weekend.