across a distant sea

I’ve been kind of silent here this week, haven’t I? I’ve posted links, quotes, a meme, and a short random entry, and I haven’t gotten around to writing part two of Spirituality in Opposite-Gender Friendships.

Sometimes, there’s just not much to say. I’ve been following the Uganda bloggers all week, and it’s been beautifully heartbreaking. Those are the only words I can think of to describe it.

See, I’ve been through this journey. A journey that, as a privileged, relatively wealthy young American living in the twenty-first century, I can hardly avoid. And more importantly, a journey that, as a follower of Jesus, I can hardly avoid. It’s simply brought into more bold and pressing relief by the technology and privilege of who I am and where I live.

And this journey is coming face with how I feel about poverty. And what I’m going to do about it.

Sophomore year, I really came to a breaking point, wondering how we dare use a more expensive brand of shampoo or drink soda or have any luxuries at all when people are dying and starving. I don’t know how I resolved those issues in my mind. There are lingering questions, but I did come to peace with a more moderate frugality.

Yet now, this issue is returning. Even though I have seen so many of the images and heard so many of the stories, I am not desensitized. And these stories from Uganda, they are awakening me all over again. How I love to see the hope in these children’s eyes. One young boy was asked by Carlos, what was his favorite thing about coming to the Compassion program. And he said, when we go to class and they teach us about Jesus. Speaking in that soft, formal voice with a British accent – that lovely African voice.

See, I have no answers. Only questions. I do not want to leave all this behind. I am at a unique place in life now. I have the opportunity to make choices that will determine how I will live my future. But what do I do? Where do I go? Where can I make a difference? How do the paths of missions and social justice combine? Can I live in the States and follow Christ the way I am supposed to? Are my fears legitimate?

I don’t know, I don’t know. I have so many fears, so much anxiety even in leading this simple, comfortable life here in this privileged country. How could I live it somewhere else?

There are no cliches, only the hard truth I face up to when I am facedown.

He is enough… for them and for me.

666

“Akismet has caught 666 spam for you since you first installed it.”

Uh oh. Someone send me another spam comment, quick.

123 Book Meme

So I have been seeing this meme float around the blogosphere for awhile now. Unlike most memes, it is right up my alley, and I have been waiting for someone to tag me. C.A. at Got Fruit? did. Here goes!

Rules:

1. Pick up the nearest book of 123 pages or more. No cheating!
2. Find page 123
3. Find the first 5 sentences
4. Post the next 3 sentences
5. Tag 5 people

I hope I’m doing this right, but I’m just going to follow the directions. That usually works wonders.

The book: The Collected Poems of Emily Dickinson (of the books that are actually mine). I was kind of disappointed, to be honest, because poetry doesn’t seem like it will work too well for this. Are sentences sentences, or just lines? I’ll count them as actual sentences. I’m being nonsensical.

The sentences:

And when the hills are full,
And newer fashions blow,
Doth not retract a single spice
For pang of jealousy.

Her public is the noon,
Her providence the sun,
Her progress by the bee proclaimed
In sovereign, swerveless tune.

The bravest of the host,
Surrendering the last,
Nor even of defeat aware
When cancelled by the frost.

I’m tagging: Rebecca at All Said and Done, Kaylene at Every Thought Captive, Hannah at Hannah’s Blog, Ashley at A Weis Writer, and Holly at holiday.

That was fun!

Excerpts from Passion and Purity

I just finished rereading Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot (read my review here), and I wanted to share several excerpts that are particularly helpful or poignant.

“I’m afraid the snake has been talking to that person. He’s been sneaking up and whispering, ‘God is stingy. He dangles that beautiful fruit called marriage before your eyes and won’t let you have it. He refuses you the only thing you need for deep personal growth, the one thing in all the world that would solve all your problems and make you really happy.’” (44)

“The things that we feel most deeply we ought to learn to be silent about, at least until we have talked them over thoroughly with God.” (62)

“Jesus loves me, this I know – not because He does just what I’d like, but because the Bible tells me so.” (87)

“The emptiness turns me again to Him.” (88)

“Wait on God. Keep your mouth shut. Don’t expect anything until the declaration is clear and forthright.” (102) In reference to women’s expectations of men.

“I wanted to marry a man prepared to swim against the tide.” (129)

“The kind of love that sustains a marriage is God given, but it is also a daily choice. For the rest of your life. Never forget that.” (182)

“It is not the wife’s job to demand that her husband love her as Christ loved the Church. Her job is to submit in such a way (that is, gladly, voluntarily, wholeheartedly) as to make it easier for him to love her that way.” (183)

Spread the Love/Blogging with a Purpose

Ann Kroeker kindly passed on a Spread the Love Award to me. Thanks, Ann! I really appreciate the encouragement. So I’m going to pass it on to a couple other great blogs that spread the love of Jesus. Now guys whose blogs I read, I’m sorry, but this just looks like a girly award to me. I couldn’t bring myself to award it to a guy. Not that guys can’t spread the love of Jesus, but if I were a guy and got this award, I might be a little confused. Or something. Okay, I’m just digging myself deeper here. Without further ado…

I’m awarding two “journeying” bloggers, Joy and Jennifer.

Joy, at joy in the journey, is a homemaking missionary in Indonesia with her husband and five children. She is such a sweet lady and shares stories about serving the Lord, caring for her husband and children, and working with the Indonesians she and her husband have come to serve. She’s been quite the inspiration and example to me, even though I don’t know her personally.

Jennifer, who blogs at Journey in Foreign Lands, is a first-year seminary student in Boston. She writes about what God’s doing in her life, and her journey as she follows Him in this new phase (she just started seminary). I have learned a lot from her attitude about things and how graciously she seems to have handled all the recent transitions in her life.

I have been blessed by many blogs I’ve read, and these are two in particular that I have really enjoyed lately. You should take a read.

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Edit: It must be the blog awards season or something… because I just got another one, Blogging with a Purpose, from Kaysie. Thank you, Kaysie! I enjoy these because it is fun to give and receive encouragement; sometimes blogging can seem fruitless. So here are a few blogs that I feel write with a purpose:

Ann Kroeker passed on the Share the Love award I mentioned earlier. I think she’s already gotten this award from someone else, but I’m going to duplicate it. I enjoy Ann’s blog because she is committed to the craft of writing well, and she is one of the most diverse bloggers I know… meaning, she writes about such a wide range of topics. She might write about the environment one day, the Huguenots the next, and fun things to do with your kids on the third. But she’s very purposeful even in her randomosity – down-to-earth and uplifting at the same time.

Heather at Especially Heather is a sweet lady who has been through a lot in life. She is currently dealing with brain cancer, as well as health struggles with her youngest child. She is also a wife, and a mother to two other children. She has inspired me so, so, so much with her faith and courage and authenticity.

Daniel at Heart of Flesh is one of the youngest bloggers I know. At seventeen, he’s already becoming quite the authority on Reformed theology, and is really great at engaging controversial issues in culture and Christianity.

I just love Emily’s blog, Unfurling Flower. She is such a sweet-hearted, wise young lady, who shares a lot of the same values that I do. I have learned so much from her, and been encouraged by her writing many times.

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Thanks again, Ann and Kaysie. I really enjoy the opportunity to spread the link love a little – these are great blogs that you all should check out.

Following the Uganda Bloggers

The Compassion-sponsored blogger trip to Uganda is beginning today. I’ve been reading a few of these blogs for some time now, and I encourage you to follow the trip. I’m sure they’re going to give us all amazing glimpses of what they’re about to experience. There’s a link to Anne Jackson’s site in the right-hand sidebar. There are quite a few others going, as well, but here are the blogs that I’m subscribed to:

• Anne’s, as previously mentioned. She’s in her twenties, married to Chris, works at a church in Oklahoma, and has a book coming out next year.
• Keely’s. She’s a Texan wife and mama, and a photographer. I just subscribed to her so I could read her pictorial updates about the trip.
• BooMama’s, which I also just subscribed to so I could read her trip updates. She’s a wife and mother, too; beyond that, I don’t know much about her yet.
• Shannon’s, which is quite popular in the momosphere. She’s got a great, funny voice, and she loves grammar, which endears her to me.
• Heather’s (wife to Carlos, below). What a busy lady. Three kids, just moved from SoCal to ATL a few months ago, and is now heading halfway around the world for this trip.
• Carlos’s (husband to Heather). He’s quite the famous blogger. Very down-to-earth. A worship leader at Buckhead Church in Atlanta.

This is a really cool thing that Compassion is doing, bringing attention to these kids using the power of blogging. Again, I encourage you to follow at least one of these blogs throughout the next week and spread the link love to others. And keep the travelers in your prayers!

Stirrings of Scripture

Some days, reading the Bible seems fruitless.  I know that the words covering the tissue-thin pages are ancient and precious, words with power and substance, heavy with the weight of blood and tears, today’s and yesterday’s. They are the deepest truth for my soul, the antidote for my sin, a window through which to peer at my Maker.

Yes, I know this, mind and heart. And yet there is that day when the effort of absorbing the well-known teaching does not seem worth it. There is no “Aha!” moment, nothing that holds my attention, nothing that noticeably applies to my life. The dullness of my heart and the blindness of my eyes frustrate me. I want to be astounded and inspired, and instead I close the Book and cross “devotions” off my mental to-do list. I feel unchanged.

But maybe that isn’t all there is to it. Maybe something about the rhythms of faithfulness, the daily return to those same time-worn passages, is significant. Because those truths begin to form an undercurrent to my life. They become familiar as friends because I meet with them so often. They begin to appear everywhere, seeping into my thought processes before I’m even aware of it.

Days later, perhaps, a phrase I read earlier in the week will pop into my head at just the right moment. Or in my theology class, a well-known verse helps me as I’m trying to piece things together mentally. Or at the moment of temptation to choose the selfish way, I remember what the Jesus way looks like.

I’m an American. I like quick results. I want immediate rewards for the discipline of Scripture reading. Sometimes, it brings joy overflowing in the very moment I’m poring over the pages. I long for my delight in Scripture to increase exponentially. Yet let me not be discouraged when I cannot feel that excitement once in awhile. This truth, these words, are powerful. The Spirit is using them in my heart and life. They are shaping me and changing me, whether I can sense it or not. They are precious, tried and true. May we not forsake them.

Starbucks Subterfuge

I was catching up on reading blogs just now, and also preparing to head out to Starbucks to study for a couple of hours, since I still have a gift card from Christmas. The very last new post in my feed reader was entitled Saudi Police Arrest Woman for… Sitting in Starbucks (not for young readers). And this was an American woman; how much worse do they treat Saudi women? I never want to have a cavalier attitude about my freedom, even about something so simple as going to a coffee shop to do some homework. If I sat with a guy who wasn’t a family member, no one would even pay attention. Yet this woman couldn’t even have a business meeting without being arrested. Crazy, the tyranny that is imposed.

What I’m Listening To

The other night, I made a new playlist because I was in the mood for a new one, something mostly relaxed but heartfelt… mostly female solo artists. A lot of this stuff is from Ruckus. Here’s some of what I had on the list, songs I’m really enjoying right now.

“City,” Sara Bareilles (Little Voice)

“World on Fire,” Sarah McLachlan (Afterglow)

“A Thousand Miles,” Vanessa Carlton (Be Not Nobody)

“Go,” Plumb (Beautiful Lumps of Coal)

“Lovely,” Michelle Tumes (Center of My Universe)

“Say Won’t You Say,” Jennifer Knapp (The Collection)

“Breathe Me,” Sia (Colour the Small One)

“White Flag,” Dido (Life for Rent)

“All Good Things (Come to an End),” Nelly Furtado (Loose)

“Black Roses Red,” Chantal Kreviazuk (What If It All Means Something)

No, I don’t necessarily endorse whatever else might be on these albums. Sometimes I just download single songs instead of entire albums. But I thought it might be fun for you to see some of the songs I’ve been enjoying lately. This isn’t a very diverse sampling; maybe next time I’ll show the craziest things I have in my music library.

Not Where, But What

“The reason Christians are not making a bigger difference in our world is not because Christians aren’t where they should be. That’s only a small part of the problem. In other words, we should have more Christians in law, more Christians in higher education, and more Christians in media, medicine, and music. But that’s not the main problem. The main problem is that Christians aren’t what they should be right where they are.”

-Os Guiness

(HT: On Earth as it is in Heaven)