It’s Okay to Desire Modesty
Welcome to the second entry in the Soul Sisters series! Click here for the introduction to the series.
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Today’s truth:
You do not need to sacrifice your modesty in order to prove that you are “comfortable with your body.”
Contemporary culture is exploiting women by selling us a lie – a lie that says unless we are willing to be public with almost every aspect of ourselves, we are not truly comfortable with who we are. Instead, we’re supposedly stunted by hang-ups, prudery, self-consciousness, and shame.
Let me suggest to you that culture couldn’t be more wrong about this. Things have become twisted to such an extent that we as women now feel we have to prove that we are worthwhile and dignified by holding nothing sacred. There is nothing we shouldn’t wear, nothing we shouldn’t talk about, no secret we should keep from the world.
Yet I believe that many young women are growing weary of this system. Perhaps they don’t even realize it, but they are tired of having to exploit themselves in order to be accepted. They are left defenseless and open to the scrutiny of a cold and curious world when they don’t construct any barriers for their own protection.
Modesty in clothing does not connote shame of one’s body. Rather, it connotes value – that our physical selves are sacred and important, meant to be protected, not put on display and flaunted to every passerby.
One of the cardinal virtues of a woman in years past was her modesty, and not just a narrow definition of modesty. In 1823, Webster’s dictionary had this to say:
“In females, modesty has the like character as in males; but the word is used also as synonymous with chastity, or purity of manners. In this sense, modesty results from purity of mind, or from the fear of disgrace and ignominy fortified by education and principle. Unaffected modesty is the sweetest charm of female excellence, the richest gem in the diadem of their honor.” (source)
What a beautiful definition, fitting well within the biblical paradigm. I firmly believe that not only should modesty characterize a woman of God, but modesty is a blessing of God for our protection and dignity. How much more free and empowered we would be as a culture of young women if we would embrace the principles of both outward and inward modesty. (For more on this, I encourage you to check out A Return to Modesty by Wendy Shalit, and Emily’s post on dressing modestly for yourself.)
Let’s close with some words from Scripture.
“Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness – with good works.” (1 Tim. 2:9-10)
The Harris Bros. put together a Modesty Survey here: http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey/ The survey is closed but the results of it are very interesting.
What a great post – it’s the truth indeed! Blessings!
Infinite and one thank yous.
I had a serious discussion about this topic with a young lady.
Lady: That is rude when a guy doesn’t notice what you are trying to show off.
Me: It is not very appropriate of me to look elsewhere. All I am going to do is look at your eyes.
Lady: That’s it. I am going to where something that shows “me” off and you have to look.
Me: Good luck with all of that.
It is a different day and age when a single guy has to beg the girl to dress more modestly.
Thank you, Anne, for making my job a lot easier.
Amen, my sister. I wish my friends read your blog.
This is such a great series Anna, I have been reading your posts and wishing every girl could read them and know the truths you are speaking about! Thanks for the link to my post, too 
It’s so true that many young girls are getting sick of the expectations of the media and society in general–one friend of mine thinks the era of Kate Moss-like skinniness is on its way out. And I couldn’t agree more–modesty (whether in the Christian sense or not) seems to be gathering speed.
I also read Emily’s series on why we should be modest and The Rebelution Modesty Survey–both very interesting reading! I highly recommend reading the survey if you haven’t already.
Very inspiring topic!
Each time I read your posts I thank God for my two teenage daughters who value modesty in dress and in behavior. I am truly blessed.
Amen, Brava, with a cherry and sprinkles on top!
[...] Perverse Psychology of ‘Showing Off’ February 27, 2008 — cbrunette Anna wrote an exceptional post about modesty yesterday. Her main point is: You do not need to sacrifice your modesty in order to prove that you are [...]
Wonderful post, Anna. Modesty definitely points toward value and encourages us men to respect women and see you all as those who are created in God’s image – rather than as objects to be desired, which our sin and society attempts to bring women down to. Thanks for your words – keep it up, Anna!
“Contemporary culture is exploiting women by selling us a lie – a lie that says unless we are willing to be public with almost every aspect of ourselves, we are not truly comfortable with who we are.”
I see modesty as a way of showing how much I value my body. I value it enough to decide who can (only my husband in the future) and who can’t (everyone else) see my body.
Thanks for the thoughts. I wished more young christian women felt the same way.
Exactly, Anna. Couldn’t have said it better myself.
I just checked out A Retern to Modesty a couple of days ago from the library and haven’t had time to pick it up yet. I’m looking forward to reading it.
~Kelsey