Letting Things Slide
Disclaimer: This is quite a long and somewhat rambling entry. I was mostly writing to sort out my own thoughts, and maybe encourage discussion on this topic… but I just wanted to warn you ahead of time. 
Did you ever notice that once you get lazy in one area of your life, that laziness tends to spill over into other areas as well? I have always prided myself on being a task-oriented, organized, on-top-of-things person. And yet several factors have combined this year to create a state of disorganized chaos in my life:
- Burnout. This is mostly related to schoolwork. I’m not genius enough to be able to get good grades without trying, so the past three years have definitely not been a walk in the park. As I wrote last month, I reached a point of burnout at the end of spring semester 2007, and that feeling lingered into the fall semester.
- Insomnia/sickness. Not being able to fall asleep at night makes me sleep in later in the morning. Then I can’t fall asleep again because I slept in late. Add to that my caffeine dependency and a lack of my usual workout habit, and sleeping became very difficult – resulting in headaches, sickness, etc. Also, I have been sick more this year than any other year in my life.
- A need to have everything organized at once, or nothing at all. I did experience this when I was younger, but now I’ll just let things slide more than usual because I feel like, if I’m not going to clean everything and accomplish every task in my life, then it’s not worth doing anything.
And the last one is just plain old laziness. I grew up in a house where there were rules about making your bed in the morning and turning the lights out a certain time and only drinking one glass of juice per day and only spending 30 minutes on the computer per day. And I was on top of things myself – I often scheduled out my days, and in high school I would get up early every morning to exercise. I continued these habits on into college, but I also began to enjoy the freedom of not having to follow those little rules, and the laziness of constant procrastination and excuses about why I shouldn’t do anything productive. So even though I pulled off my grades again, and I get things done when I have to, I’ve still let things slide to a point where I don’t want them to be. And now I realize that there is value in having those routines and standards for yourself.
I really want things to change. This past semester was incredibly difficult, and then I came home and had surgery and it’s been Christmas and busy, but I’ve had plenty of time to rest and recuperate. I really want to start getting things in order again, in my environment and in my life – to get into those old routines that are so valuable, to stop filling my mind with worthless junk from the media, to “do hard things,” and to work now and enjoy rest later.
In the next few days, I’m hoping to make some specific guidelines for myself in the form of New Year’s resolutions – not so that I can be legalistic and delight in my ability to follow my own rules, but so that I restore order, work, and diligence to my life – things that I know God desires for me. I may share some of my resolutions in the hopes that doing so will keep me more accountable – we’ll see!
If you have any thoughts to share about a similar experience you’ve had, or New Year’s resolutions you’re making, or advice for me, I’d love to hear them.
Kristi,
I actually have not attended The Rebelution, but I read the blog regularly. I really admire the Harris brothers as well, and I want to emulate how they are using their gifts to spread such an important message.
Thanks for the comment!
Anna – I love your blog! And believe me, I can totally relate to this post (oh yeah….)! I have to take babysteps toward organization because I’m always starting new projects all over the place.
God bless!
Hello Anna,
I too can relate to your post… and God is showing me so much pertaining my procrastination, lack of faithfulness, etc. In fact, He lead me to write a post about faithfulness – and I would love for you to read it!
I hope you had a Merry Christmas and a “diligent” New Year!
In Christ,
Kaysie
Hi Anna! Thanks for stopping by my blog. You’re right- we do have a lot in common! Beyond the fact that we are both studying English, I also want to share with you that I grew up in a home similar to yours- I was only allowed to drink one juice box a day, too! I completely understand what you mean about letting go of those habits and rules when you have a little freedom- I’ve done it, too! It is actually one of my resolutions to get back into the habit of exercising in the mornings. Hey, maybe we can hold eachother accountable! 
I will most likely be writing about my Advanced Grammar class, too.
Have a wonderful New Year!!
Blessings,
Krista
Hey Anna,
I’m glad you found my blog by way of Ann Kroeker (she’s a fave of mine, though I haven’t visited anyone’s much lately).
What you wrote about here reminds me of Paul’s dilemma, doing the things he shouldn’t, not doing the things he should. Such is the story of my life as well. To me, there’s wisdom in not drawing a line in the sand, not establishing rules (as you mentioned here, avoiding the whole legalism thing), that just gives strength to breaking them, ya know?
When I do focus on Jesus, r e m e m b e r that He’s present with me, my life falls into order. My (stupid) problem is that I’m a chief forgetter :/. You’re so young to have realized these things; realization is the beginning of being able to change, I think.
Food for thought, for sure…this is the time of year for such things .
Hi Anna … lovely blog. This post really spoke to me … I’m 46 and still struggling with balance. One of the places I’ve found rest is here: http://www.flylady.net … I hope you will too. Two things: you’re never behind and baby steps will get you where you need to go. Just remember those things and you’ll do fine.
That’s great that you’re making a commitment to organization and balance…just in time for the new year! I’m doing the same.
Just out of curiosity–what did you do in high school in terms of a workout routine? Did you do sports teams? It’s so great that you’ve been able to continue the habit and fit that in, even in college!
Thanks, and good luck with your resolution.
Everyone,
Thank you so much for the feedback, sharing, and encouragement! It really means a lot and it’s such a blessing to hear from others who are experiencing or have experienced the same things.
Catalina,
I definitely never played sports. I am sort of a klutz, and I’m not good at group sports. 
In earlier high school I did lots of workout videos and such, but what I was referring to in the post was circuit training. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of it, but it’s basically alternating different types of exercises to get a well-rounded workout. I’d be happy to e-mail you more about it if you’re curious, although I’m far from being a workout expert. And I definitely have lost the habit this past semester!
Good one. l like your honesty.
Hey Anna! I don’t know you, but this post caught my eye!
I can definitely relate. Now, I wish I had some profound word that would encourage you, but I myself am still very much in the process of thinking through a lot of this. In fact, I wrote a post about it not too long ago. My resolution? To obey God. To keep walking humbly with Him and not set a bunch of unrealistic and unattainable goals for myself to make myself feel better about myself. Anyway, I write more at length on it here if you are interested in reading! God bless you sister!
http://hollymark.wordpress.com/2007/12/24/only-one-thing-is-necessary/
Holly
Follow me
I love your post. Sounds a lot like mine!
Random and ramblings about every day life and feelings… Yay!! You went to the Rebeloution too!!? It was amazing! I was one of the older kids there and I *so* wished I would have heard it when I was 16!
The Harris boys are amazing and have such passion for the Lord. their message is vital and needs to be heard.
Hope you had a Merry Christmas!