In My Dark Your Lights Go On
So I almost made it… but I have two days to go, and plenty of time to get everything done, so I am returning a bit early. I really and truly missed writing during the break, but I also found that I was less addicted to it than I would have thought, which is a good thing.
I have a “Young Woman to Watch” in the works, and a few other posts on the waiting list as well. Hopefully I’ll be working on those soon. I’m going to be so busy! My friend/roommate Sarah is coming down to Ohio with me on Thursday to spend a few days, and then next Tuesday (a week from tomorrow) I get my wisdom teeth out - fun fun! Then I have two more weeks at home, and then it’s back to school for me. I’m taking J-term this year for the first time.
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Today, I just wanted to share a little something that I experienced this afternoon. I was driving to babysitting, my first final complete, and I was feeling pretty good. I was listening to a song by Michelle Tumes called “Fair Weather.” It’s about how the Lord is faithful in good times and bad: “You won’t wane in winter’s cold / And in my dark Your lights go on / I feel my heart held to Your tether / Feast or famine of my soul / I know You will remain / The least of me You love the most / When all have gone away / In the silence when the fear calls / The tears pour and You carry me home / You’re the windfall in the rainstorm / Stay with me, with me.”
Earlier this semester, I was going through some depression, as I have during other times in my life, and that song was a real encouragement to me. As I was listening to it today, I realized that it’s been probably a month and a half since I’ve been depressed. That was such a joyful and thankful realization. But as the afternoon went on, some of those feelings began to return in the strangest way, and I thought, I should have known. I tried to persevere, and I did remain happy for the little ones I was watching.
On the way home, I had to stop and pick up a gift card and a thank-you card for someone, and as I finished doing that, this sensation of happiness swept over me as I thought of giving it to the person. And I realized how fulfilling it truly is to do things for someone else. That sounds cliche, but it’s a cliche for a reason. One reason I love Christmas is because you get to give.
I know it’s bad to be ruled by feelings, and yet they are so powerful, and it’s such a gift when they are positive. Even though it meant that I had some sad moments beforehand, I was thankful for that little light-bulb moment today.
4 Comments to In My Dark Your Lights Go On
A verse that encouraged me when I was in India thinking about the work God had done in me and wondering how that would continue in my future, was Proverbs 4:18 - “But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, which shines brighter and brighter until full day.” Thanks for your insights.
I loved this post! There have been many times when I have felt depressed because of circumstances in my life and then suddenly I will hear a song or read a verse that will absolutely make my day!
Keep up the good work….your blog is awesome!
~Emily
I understand that feeling. For me, I try to recognize why I’m depressed. Is it something I ate, or didn’t eat? Am I tired? Lonely? Insecurities about body image? Is it because someone is hurting me? Once I figure out the reasons, I generally realize one thing… they are all self-focused.
I really struggle with my emotions. Sometimes they seriously rule my world, and rock my world at the same time. God is showing me how to handle these times. Especially to simply focus on Him, and others. Like you said, when you do something for someone else… you stop focusing on yourself and whatever negative emotion is clouding you.
At least that is how I am. I try to figure out the reason and then go… “Aren’t there more important things to think about?” For me, when I get down prayer or scripture reading or ANYTHING is not appealing. Nothing can get me out of the mood except one thing… taking the focus off myself. Stepping away from the mirror and looking up, toward Him.
I’ve been meaning to comment here for a few days - I understand exactly how you feel. I too have struggled with my ‘thorn in the flesh’ (depression) for many years and it seems that just when I feel that things are improving that I am overcome once again.
How wonderful it is to remember that no matter how much our feeling go up and down God remains the same, constant and never changing! He loves us no matter how we are feeling.
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Anna, 21. Saved by grace, called to follow Christ. Book-lover, writer, caregiver, wannabe runner.
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December 11, 2007