Notice the Single Moments
Sometimes I think the only thing making me resent my singleness is the urgent, nagging fear that I should be worrying about it. I am 21 – I should not be alone. Time is ticking away. If I do not pay attention, the years will pass unnoticed and I will be the still-unmarried 65-year-old with white hair and cats and knitting and neighborhood children as substitute grandkids. (Not that that would be the worst fate in the world.) And the world tells me that romance is best, that togetherness is happiness. And the church tells me that marriage is good, that family is penultimate.
They’re not necessarily wrong. But I think back to a few short years ago, when I was a child and enjoyed my simple home life. I ate lunch with a book in hand and kept track of the dozens I devoured month by month. I put a coat on my doll and strapped her in the seatbelt beside me when my family went to town to do errands. I reveled in the family traditions of Christmas and the Fourth of July and summer vacation and Sunday church-going. And that was enough.
Yes, time has passed, and I want to be married, and it’s a natural and wholesome desire. And romance is sweet and marriage is wonderful and family is a precious gift. But you know, I am nothing more than a child in my Father’s eyes still. And I think it delights Him when I find peaceful contentment in the little things He has surrounded me with now. I do not need to seek this nagging worry. I do not need to fear that the years will pass unnoticed if I do not give constant attention to my desire for marriage. I can guiltlessly enjoy my singleness and the freedom it brings. I can invest myself in ministry and the lives of others without worrying so much about balance. I can contentedly read my piles of books, and stay out as long as I please, and answer my phone when it’s convenient, and revel in the solitude when it regularly greets me.
It is a season, and while it is not without its loneliness and temptation to anxiety and despair, it has its share of joys and pleasure, too. I don’t want to forget, and pass it by unnoticed, because I am so ready for the next season to come.
I am only 19, I don’t feel the pressure of being married, I like your perspective.
[...] Anna at Hope Road wrote out much of what I was thinking in her post on noticing the single moments. [...]
I really appreciate your perspective on this. Like a breath of fresh air; exactly what I needed to hear right now.
Thanks Anna! I just found your blog, and I have so enjoyed getting to know you through it. I really needed to hear the words in this post.
In Him,
Lizzy
wow!!! So good. I amen that all the way and thoroughly agree. You hit the nail right on the head in your typical, poignant manner 
. Thank you so much for encouraging my heart!
I stumbled across your blog through Purple Cellar. I just decided: we need to be friends.
(Hope, this is not directed to you but I had to soapbox/rant before I bust.)
Let these words not be some cliché: “Keep your eyes focused on God.”
What is quite common among young adults is that while their enthusiasm and zeal for God and His will in their life knows no equal in this world, it is very common for these same young adults to have total and utter control over who their mate for life should be.
You trust God for everything else (believe me, you have taught me so much) so why not give Him control over this.
That is to say, you don’t sit back and expect a phone call out of the blue. Get out, be social, keep your networks hopping. Be “actively waiting” as all things with God.
I am completely out of my head and heart with joy because I know God has something incredible for each of your lives. The only thing is that God has to be the complete Lord of everything in your life. Let Him drive the car for He knows exactly where to go and how to get there.
/rant off
amen and amen! may God give you the grace to keep that perspective