looking at it

things have been feeling a little undone lately. time for some refocusing, some reordering. i’m not sure how or where. i just need to think about it, how all my puzzle pieces fit together. and how a loss of tunnel vision might be best in the long run. there’s a lot more to see when the blinders are off. solitude and community, they both carry good. lost in one, forgetting the other, unhealthy either way.

to look back, it seems like i was so young. and now i’m… what? old? wise. not hardly, but just a tiny bit less naive, maybe.

i’m tired, and stream-of-consciousness seems like the easiest way to go. because it gets old, forcing everything to be just so, like painting still life. sometimes i like to get a little impressionistic, or maybe, dare i say it, even abstract. everything is more blurry in real life anyway, not as precise, not as measured, not as sunny and perfect. but still art that could maybe even be beautiful if you looked at it the right way.