Rules of Consideration (Part 1)
I attend a Christian college, where it often seems as if half the student body is dating each other. My college has “open hall” hours and rules – the opposite s*x can only visit during certain hours on Friday and/or Saturday nights (the rules differ in specific halls). There are common lounge areas, though, where anyone can hang out. Usually the majority of the people in the lounge are couples. They are usually known as “lounge dwellers,” and their infamous lack of consideration for others in the lounge has led me to write this post.
But I’m not going to write about rules of consideration dating couples should have for other people around them (especially singles) first. Rather, I’m going to share the rules that I, a single or just a third wheel in general, try to abide by when I am relating to couples I am around, to be considerate of their relationship. Next time I’ll attack the couples. 
These are in no particular order of significance. I’m just writing them as they come to mind.
- Include both members of the couple in conversation. It’s easy for me to just talk to the girl instead of including the guy, and sometimes I’ve been guilty of talking to the guy more than the girl, too. I think it’s best to include everyone in the conversation so that everyone feels more comfortable.
- Defer to the relationship in social situations. Make sure the couple has room to sit next to each other, or drive in the same car on group outings, etc. Some couples won’t force the issue if other people don’t make room for them, but I think it’s nice to do what I can so they can be together.
- Don’t invite myself to be a third wheel. Like most people, I’m not much of a fan of being the odd one out, but I will sometimes if I’m invited. But I don’t think it’s nice to invite myself on the couple’s pre-arranged outings. It seems like a no-brainer, but I’ve seen it happen a lot with other people.
- Be gracious about the couple’s need to spend time together. This is a big one for me, because I sometimes (read: often) struggle with it. But in order for a relationship to be healthy, both members of the couple have to make it a priority, and the rest of us just have to accept that.
That’s all I have for now. Let me know if you think of anymore!
Those are wonderful rules. Congratulations for being so “third-person savvy”! If I think of any, I’ll add them…
It was easy to be gracious in such a ridiculous situation–what else could I do? Hehe…of course this had to happen to me! I think I’ll add it to my memiors…
Interesting. I don’t know that I have ever seen somebody write rules like this that consider this perspective…
Very interesting indeed. Way to think outside of the box.
I went to a small Christian college too. Manhattan Christian College, actually. I think I know exactly how you are feeling. Though, I’m afraid that I’m one of the ones who met his girlfriend (now wife) within the first few seconds of stepping on campus.
But I’ll say that it is always the other couples that are acting silly and icky…. ha!