Archive for June, 2007
Six-Word Story
Ernest Hemingway’s shortest story: “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”
Six words! Sometimes I think the best writing is communicated in the least amount of space possible. Pithiness is paramount! (I love the word pithy, by the way. And the words winsome, pulchritudinous, pensive, and quixotic… even though I’ve never been quite sure how to pronounce that last one. But I digress.)
If you’re feeling brave, write me a six-word story in the comments section! I’ll put my favorite one(s) in the next entry. 
Stay-at-Home Daughters
In the past few years I’ve noticed a growing trend, almost entirely among homeschool families: daughters who choose to remain at home after graduating from high school, and plan on doing so until they get married. Some of these young women have made a commitment to focus almost solely on learning the arts of housewifery.
I’ve noticed that this lifestyle choice has been described as most truly indicative of biblical womanhood. I am not saying being a stay-at-home daughter is unbiblical. But I am going to respond to those who think that this is the only right choice. (Just please know that I’m not putting all stay-at-home daughters in the same box!)
The real issue here is how to spend the season of singleness. You may remember Paul’s famous passage on singleness and marriage in 1 Corinthians 7, where he exhorts believers to remain single if possible, so that they may be solely focused on serving the Lord. I know this is an isolated passage, and elsewhere the Bible constantly commends and upholds marriage. I think being a wife and mother is an extremely high calling and a noble occupation, which every woman should seriously and prayerfully encounter. But I still think there is biblical merit for a woman to serve the Lord outside of marriage and children, especially when she is in a time of life when marriage is far from imminent.
There is so much need in this world. There are so many amazing niches of life that could be filled by devoted, godly, unattached women. There are so many ways to prepare yourself for being a helpmeet to your husband in the future - not only by learning the art of being a housewife, but by learning a craft or a profession so that you can help support the family in a time of crisis, or supplement your husband’s career and ministry, or minister and bless those around you more effectively.
I am not saying that staying at home is always ineffective. But I do wonder…
- Why are we placing biblical womanhood in such a small box? Do all women have to be either a stay-at-home daughter or a stay-at-home wife in order to be godly?
- Why are we limiting ourselves and others from the myriad of ways God may have for us to be useful in the world, some of which may include “exploiting our singleness,” as John Piper says, to take advantage of ministry opportunities that may not be practical for a stay-at-home mom?
Your thoughts and opinions are welcomed!
The Seasons of Life
Alex and Brett Harris, founders of The Rebelution (defined as “a teenage rebellion against low expectations”), were recently interviewed by Kevin Swanson of Generations Radio to discuss “the Rebelution, the myth of adolescence, the conference, parents, [their] future plans, and more.” I listened to it today and found it very enjoyable and convicting.
One topic they spoke about stood out to me. I’ve read about it before in some of John Piper’s writing. It’s the idea of approaching life in the context of stages or seasons, of preparing for the next season, but living the current season to the fullest without knowing everything about what future seasons will bring.
This idea is so comforting to me. As one who likes to make dozens of lists and plan everything down to the last detail, I’m uncomfortable with the unknown - including the great, big, gaping hole called The Future. It’s hard for me to enjoy the now without going crazy trying to figure out where I’m going. And it’s hard for me to figure out where I’m going without getting lost in the now.
Instead, I want to look at the stage I’m currently in as a time of productivity, preparation, and fulfillment. I’m in a season of singleness, of being a student, of preparing for my future career and life, whatever that may look like. The future may bring marriage, children, a career I’ve never dreamed of, suffering I never wanted to experience, adventures beyond my wildest imaginings. Resting in the sovereignty of God who does all things well, doing my best to apply myself to productivity and preparation, and living in the moment without forgetting what’s ahead are all things that can characterize this outlook.
I think this perspective will help to keep me from being 1) afraid of the future, and 2) forgetful of the future. I can joyfully prepare for it without worrying about it, or setting my heart on things that may never come to be.
Ministry in Reverse
Ministry. We’re called to do it selflessly, for eternal reasons, not temporal ones. We’re called to pour into the lives of others, not expecting anything back. Yet sometimes isn’t it true that when we’re least expecting it, those we’re ministering to are a great blessing in our lives, even greater than we probably are in theirs?
I know this has been true for me. One example in particular comes to mind from the semester I spent involved in refugee ministry. Each Tuesday night, a group from the college I then attended would drive half an hour or so to a downtown Chicago neighborhood, where we split up into pairs and visited refugee families. It was relational ministry; we weren’t helping them in much of a tangible way at all, other than befriending them.
My classmate and I visited a Christian family from Ethiopia. There were two sisters, and each sister had a daughter. The older sister’s daughter was seventeen, and the younger sister’s daughter was only a baby. It was this younger sister, Addis, who turned my “ministry” right back around to me. She was young, only nineteen, although she seemed much older and more mature. Her husband was still in Ethiopia, unable to join her because of immigration restrictions, and he had not even seen their daughter yet. She spoke to him on the phone once or twice a week. She stayed in the small, stuffy, top-floor apartment day in and day out, taking care of her daughter, while her sister worked and her niece attended school.
Yet her smile was brilliant and unfailing, her repeated assurances of God’s faithfulness and love were constant, and she was probably the most hospitable woman I’ve ever encountered. She insisted on feeding us a meal every time we visited, and lovingly questioned us about our lives, our families, and our well-being, as though we were the needy ones. (And maybe we were.)
What a humbling and beautiful testimony this was and continues to be for me. It is humbling because it speaks against imperialism in ministry - coming in wealthy and lofty, dispensing “blessings” and change to the less fortunate. It is beautiful because it shows me that the “less fortunate” are often the ones who have the most to give.
Rules of Consideration (Part 2)
(You can read Part 1 here.)
In the last post, I went over what I do to make the couples around me more comfortable. So here are some things I think couples can do to make those around them more comfortable (specifically dating or courting couples; I’m not really referencing married couples here, although some of it could apply to them as well, I guess).
- Don’t always assume I need to make special arrangements so you can be alone. I think it’s the couple’s responsibility to find a place to hang out one-on-one if that’s what they want. I don’t go out of my way to change my routine and plans so that a couple can be alone, especially if I haven’t even been asked to. It’s up to you to make the arrangements and find out if it’s okay with those around you. Don’t expect them to disappear!
- Be considerate of others by keeping PDA to a minimum. PDA = public displays of affection. Enough said about that!
- Make time for your friends, not just your significant other. A dating relationship or courtship is not a marriage, and even spouses need a healthy amount of time spent with other people. Don’t just hang out with your friends as a couple. And don’t make a habit of canceling on your friends to hang out with the boy/girlfriend.
What do you think? Am I being reasonable? Do you have any to add?
Rules of Consideration (Part 1)
I attend a Christian college, where it often seems as if half the student body is dating each other. My college has “open hall” hours and rules - the opposite s*x can only visit during certain hours on Friday and/or Saturday nights (the rules differ in specific halls). There are common lounge areas, though, where anyone can hang out. Usually the majority of the people in the lounge are couples. They are usually known as “lounge dwellers,” and their infamous lack of consideration for others in the lounge has led me to write this post.
But I’m not going to write about rules of consideration dating couples should have for other people around them (especially singles) first. Rather, I’m going to share the rules that I, a single or just a third wheel in general, try to abide by when I am relating to couples I am around, to be considerate of their relationship. Next time I’ll attack the couples. 
These are in no particular order of significance. I’m just writing them as they come to mind.
- Include both members of the couple in conversation. It’s easy for me to just talk to the girl instead of including the guy, and sometimes I’ve been guilty of talking to the guy more than the girl, too. I think it’s best to include everyone in the conversation so that everyone feels more comfortable.
- Defer to the relationship in social situations. Make sure the couple has room to sit next to each other, or drive in the same car on group outings, etc. Some couples won’t force the issue if other people don’t make room for them, but I think it’s nice to do what I can so they can be together.
- Don’t invite myself to be a third wheel. Like most people, I’m not much of a fan of being the odd one out, but I will sometimes if I’m invited. But I don’t think it’s nice to invite myself on the couple’s pre-arranged outings. It seems like a no-brainer, but I’ve seen it happen a lot with other people.
- Be gracious about the couple’s need to spend time together. This is a big one for me, because I sometimes (read: often) struggle with it. But in order for a relationship to be healthy, both members of the couple have to make it a priority, and the rest of us just have to accept that.
That’s all I have for now. Let me know if you think of anymore!
Preparation for Peru
I realized I haven’t said anything about this on my blog yet - I’m going on my first missions trip/overseas experience ever next month, starting the fifth. I’m going to Peru for a month with a group of other college-aged interns to serve in some orphanages. I’m extremely excited about it! I have a lot to do this month to finish getting ready to go - taking care of vaccinations, things I need to buy for the trip, etc. And I’m nervous, too. Thankfully, I’ve gotten more excited than nervous, because I got my manual in the mail recently so I know more about what to expect.
Anyway, I would appreciate your prayers as I get ready to go. By God’s grace I was able to raise more than 100% of my support by the June 1st deadline. And the deadline was only for 50% of my support! It’s been amazing. (Some of the extra money will be used for buying things for the orphans or my hosts, and maybe a few of my extra travel expenses.) As of right now, I’m pretty sure I’m going to take my laptop along, so I should be able to blog from there.
With all that being said, I suppose I should go be productive. I got a lucky day off from work - my boss just didn’t schedule me today. I’m loving it. Have a great Wednesday!
What a Shocker
Another young female celebrity has been in the news headlines in the past few weeks for saying something outrageous. She originally said it in an Entertainment Tonight interview, and it ended up all over the celebrity gossip headlines, and mainstream headlines like MSNBC and Yahoo! (which is where I saw it).
Katie Holmes said that she was loving motherhood and was “definitely” ready to have more kids.
I know, shocking, right? Imagine a woman actually enjoying being a mom, and even wanting to have more kids. Imagine stepping back a little from a star-studded career as a world-famous actress to care for your baby, and loving it so much that you were ready to do it all over again. Who would have thought such a thing was possible?
It’s crazy. I could hardly believe it myself.
A Taste of Suffering
This past weekend I was sick with strep throat. It was probably the sickest I ever remember being. I was sick to my stomach all day Saturday too, and I was on an IV for dehydration and got shots for nausea. It was so much fun. (Sorry if that was too much information for you!) That’s why you haven’t heard from me lately.
But my point isn’t for you to feel a moment of sympathy for my tragic illness. Rather, I wanted to share a little lesson I learned. Saturday was a very hard day. If you’ve had the stomach flu for any length of time, you’ll know what I’m talking about. It got to the point where I could never rest easily, where even a sip of water or a pill wouldn’t stay down, and where I could hardly stand up. Thankfully, it only lasted for a day.
And while I was experiencing this, I thought about a couple of ladies from my church who have been dealing with cancer. I thought of one in particular, since I know more about her situation and she’s been dealing with it for longer. She’s not much older than I am, she has a husband and a two-year-old daughter, and she is about to start another six months of chemotherapy. Her faith and testimony have not only remained, but have grown by leaps and bounds during this time in her life. What a witness to the faithfulness and sovereignty of God in the most unwanted of circumstances.
I can’t even imagine going through almost a year of feeling as bad or worse than I did on Saturday, and remaining so steadfast. I know it sounds cliche, but how dare I complain about anything in my life - how can I question His sovereignty when His other children are facing suffering so severe they can barely get through moment by moment? And I know it’s not even just cancer patients who are suffering, but parents who have lost children, children losing parents, poverty, hunger, persecution, abandonment, abuse, depression, and an unimaginably endless list.
Their God is my God too. He is as faithful in my moments as He is in theirs.
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Anna, 21. Saved by grace, called to follow Christ. Book-lover, writer, caregiver, wannabe runner.
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